Now lets examine some of the apsects of marriage & divorce
marriage is essentially a match. So at the thime of the match they are both deemed equal
in terms of what they bring to the table & what they commit to offer each other and no one else for the rest of the life. So yes its a life long contract.
Now if the husband or the wife cannot satisfy each other emotionally of actually in most cases sexually, it is a valid ground for divorce.
But what if someone wants to get a divorce on the grounds that after 15 years of being satisfied sexually, they want a divorce citing lack of sexual satisfaction anymore?
Okay, let them have it. But does the guy have to lose half his wealth for this?
or even within a short life span if this demand is made, should the guy lose half his wealth?, people will use loop -holes claim torture,abuse,lack of sexual satisfaction and claim money from wealthy people.
So ideally yes in a marriage both spouses are supposed to be equal and wealth sharing makes sense, on a practical level it is very very difficult.
Either we need houses with cameras all the time which can be provided in a court of law when needed.
We should learn to live without the institution of marriage.
AN arrangement between a man and a woman to have kids where the man might provide some monetary compensation.
For emotional companionship, they can just have what is currently Bf/gf /dating thing that people do today, and can move in, or move out whenever.
For providing destitute women with security we can just have large cooperative society housing & business/community districts for destitute women and government will pay for that. This is unfortunately the case as women are currently the weaker sex.
what is marriage anymore?
A simpler understanding is that two people are committed to each other
for sex, having kids, raising a family and companionship. What is prohibited now is spending time energy n emotional and material resources elsewhere that reduces what your spouse alone is entitled to. In many cases, the spouse does not even want actual stuff(energy,time n resources) from their partners, they just want to know – whatever their partner has, they prove it 100 % to them. In some cases, the people are happy with what their spouses r offering them that they come to accept a lil action of their partner in the side if they find out to it.
But forget about extra-marital affairs for now, in a faithful marriage – what if there is no compatibility?
When people take marriage vows, is it a commitment that they will fulfill each other’s needs in the above aspects?
what if initially they thought they could fulfill it but after living together for a bit more time – they find out there is no proper compatibility – personality based and thence sexual
what if there is difficulty in kids arriving? at this point what is the foundation of this marriage? – no kids, no sex, no compatibility and no companionship.
Maybe one person may still find the other to be enjoyable to be with but what if this is not mutual?
So initally the understanding was to make a commitment in the above aspects, later on one realises that the commitment cannot be made because of what they realise about the other.
Who is at fault? and what can be done?
Well no one can 100% judge someone from the start – to add to it is the difficulty in finding potential mates these days esp with the arranged marriage thing in India.
The person who realises he/she cant fulfil the commitment anymore – they dont mean any harm at the beginning, its just that they come to the realisation that
its gonna be hard.
If they are running away coz they are impressed by others – thats something bad coz thats breaking the inital commitment and should gladly accept any penalties for breaking the relationship. But, if they think they’d prefer to be single rather than live with the other person?
Are they at fault entirely? and should they be punished if they wanna divorce?
Although the problem is with both parties – because no one means harm initially, but if one person has a shitty personality, the other cant keep on giving in,
and will not be able to find true companionship and sexual compatibility. So this person can either become more aggressive to try and change the one
with a shitty personality/or give them a taste of their own medicine. Or go for a divorce –
But has to pay the penalty either way for a misjudgement earlier on while making a commitment.
But, they cannot be blamed for not fulfilling their commitment, if their partner has a shitty personality.
Men have it really, really hard these days and our society needs to change in a lot of aspects for things to get better. First thing is Dads – please dont let your daughters become the entitled cunts that most women are today. Maybe if the dads dont keep em pampering too much, most girls wont be so dumb after all. Teach them to think about what is it that they bring to a marriage rather than just keep expecting things from the guys and in the name of norms and privileges in today’s society.