In a fight a comparison/competition of one or more of the below traits occur
1) Better at strength
2) WHo is well connected in society and knows to get things done
3) Who is witty/articulate in arguing , of a higher status
4) Who is the better person ( overall – happiness/coolness/impact potential)
The fourth is the most important one and the one thats got a lasting effect at the end of a confrontation.
This is similar to other situations of competition/comparison which happens with looks, sophistication,coolness etc
And similar to that sitation, one cannot be always prepared to have the exact right demeanour at the moment of confrontation.
But unlike a sitation where one just compares looks at glances in few seconds/moments, fights last a bit longer.
I have explained that in another blog ( about the sitation wrt looks) how it is very hard to quickly have the right demeanour to come across as the better one in the situation.
But with fights, you have a lil bit more time and so even if at the inital moments of escalation, where you are full of rage in addition to sizing up your opponent and so you may not have the cool/better demeanour, you have to get to this point where you have the better demeanour so that it comes across as you have the better score in the 4th point.
Now when u r fighting with taxi guys and average people its fine, but when you are fighting with someone who is a bit more articulate,rich, sophisticated and belongs to an upper circle it is easier for them to naturally have the better demeanour wrt 4th component.
So you have to quickly recollect to stay calm and try to come across the better person overall- point 4.
So overall meaninig higher impact and happiness potential( obtained by your intelligence,philosophy, existential success and related thoughts)
despite not being so high on pleasure potential (which is aided by having better looks, wealth, people and practical aspects in your life)
So if you truely have reasons to believe in your superiority, you can try to make the other guy feel it and thus hurt him.
And you can make the other guy feel it by having the right demeanour.
So what could be the best demeanour in confrontation?
have a look at the above pacino pics. This look in his eyes indicates that he is aware of how the other guy has some advantages in that scenario, but deep down knowing that he is better. Some advantages may be those stuff – strength, street smarts, articulateness, power, even richness and sophistication.
But you know deep down you are better. The pacino look above is a classic example coz italians of those times( and maybe even now)
think they are better than whites despite feeling like they are a bit second class and naive in that white american society.
I have also seen arabs give that looks to indians ( the indian was me the waiter) who maybe better speaking english, less fobby,
more intelligent and may even be more charming that the arab but because of the existant racial hierarchy in the world – the arab feels like he is better deep down.
So you have to get to that calmer/less reactionary, starry eyed looked demeanour thats gonna indicate to the other guy that even though he may be stronger,well connected, rich and sophisticated, you think you are the better person.
So whatever you do during a confrontation – try to give the other person this look before you leave. You dont have to rely on this look for everyone – like i said for taxi drivers and stuff you can naturally come across as you think they are beneath you and you dont have to engage at a physical level with them. You only need this stare to people who are the cool/hep/elite kinda guys. This stare has to follow in situations where the other has established their eliteness/helpness/higher social status etc. Dont do anything else that may affect your chances of getting this look before you leave. If you have left with this look finally, you have won. Imagine you are some kinda city guy returning from abroad and u can talk in english well etc. But still you meet some south indians who think they are better than you despite being poorer, not well networked, not very sophisticated, weaker in the situation etc…esp brahmins or really fair people who belong to a kinda proud background give out this look. You gotta give that look to the others indicating that you think you are better than the other in some way. Mostly the way that superior people deal in these situations is they remain calm, a bit silent and talk less and give that al pacino look – thats how you win. As a rule, talking less and giving out that im better than you look in the end is the way to win this.Actually you can either go for that pacino look if the other guy is totally not disgusting, but if you want to hurt him more – you gotta act like you are disgusted with him by having that expression in your face and using words like ‘chi po’ Even if the other person initally thinks that he is better than you(by his looks or status or whatever), this look & staying calmer strategy in the end by you will finish things well for you leaving the other person rattled/in doubt about who is better by your attitude. The key is even if the other person thinks he is better initally – you shouldnt get caught up about how dare he thinks that way – maybe you are poorly dressed and may not look that elite as him. But even in that situation you can turn things around and make him feeling rattled & doubtful about who was the better person – by being calm having that right demeanor that indicates you think you are better. Even if you say ‘chi po’ and have that disgusted look – you gotta be starry eyed pacino for a while to come across as different from the average guy who says ‘chi po’ in that situation. But these things it should come naturally to you and you gotta quickly feel like the better person. So if its not natural and quick enough that you feel confident and top of the situation , just rsort to the pacino starry look, other wise u can go to the extent of having the disgusted look in your face. I mean really think about how ud deal with a village guy – and bring that confidence into your stare with any guy of any status. i mean this advice is not for everyone – but for people who dont look that classy but know that they are better than those supposed elite/classy people by virtue of just their looks and circle. Try to think of a naive fool belonging to the other’s particular group that you can think of ( even though this guy in front of you may be sophisticated) and have a demeanor in which you can give the confident look/stare at this guy.
So things to remember here are
1)Even if the other guy initially thinks he is better than you, dont get enraged by it, if you give him the look in the end you would leave feeling good and he would be feeling down.
2) For the look, think about a naive guy belonging to the other’s group, get your confidence up and get the confident stare/look even if not the disgusted look.