Indians vs Europeans, Indians Vs Arabs, South Indians Vs North Indians

Indians Vs Europeans

North Indian girls with sophistication and Impact potential ( entails being in the west – an impactful place and being an important person with an important job or popularity of sophistication there) definitely win this. Whites have better bone structure with Vitamin D flatter face, and proteing, but indians have better skin and sensuality and sophisticated Indians are more intllectually appealing than whites. Same points for arabs below, but doesnt mean there is no difference between arbas and europeans


South asians vs arabs

Arabs are neotenous, more vitamin d, protein/collagen,bigger n flatter heads, thicker skin, better physique
Indians r sensual, better skin and intelelctually superior, arabs r simple minded. So indinas win. Arabs are simple minded – they cannot be devious like some whites/jews and so certain intellectually sophisticated indians appear more appealing than arabs


North Indian girls Vs South Indian Girls

talked a thousand differences in other blogs. heres some more videos I made on this


Intelligence makes you a better person than charm. Coz with charm the most you can do is try to make a thousand babies. But with intelligence – you can be much more impactful and make or create a million humans and go on to do other things. If you are wondering why its important to make an impact – read my impact theory/purpose of life blog – where i go on to establish how at a level below nihilism the purpose of all existence is to make an impact. So there are 3 things in contention 1) Impact potential, 2) pleasure potential and 3) happiness potential. When we make an impact or do perceivably impactful things we derive pleasure out of it(our brains have become that way). ANd if we keep having a lot of pleasurable/positive moments we have a higher happiness potential in life. From a nihilistic perspective – happiness potential is what counts the most, and from the perspective of being an impactful person, impact potential is what counts. But more impact does not mean more pleasure or happiness potential. Trump is not the most happiest person in the world right now, but generally impactful/accomplished people do those things to feel more happier.

If man was a primitive animal – the most impactful thing he could do is make another human. Thats why the mating,flirting,romance associated with this is more pleasurable.
But like I said, the modern man is more impactful when he creates technology and does other brainy impactful things. But still we get more pleasure out of mating/romance etc rather than writing a piece of code that works – theres the inefficiency of an imperfect brain. So if you are a nerd you have more impact potential but less pleasure potential cuz ur not good with women. But when it comes to happiness, what is it? Now a pornstar or a prositute is not the happiest person either even though they get a lot more pleasure and they have been popular. Happiness potential can be high for people who know the right things and are philosophical and even(not necessarily) impactful. So nerds – you can be happier than the jocks at school and be proud of how you are better/happier than them. But if you are a virgin for life and you dont have a partner that you wished for and you are stuck with a wife with whom you have to spend the rest fo yourlife with – you begin to wonder have i missed out a big deal by not experiencing true romance, passion etc.  Well Im here to tell you that porn is the great equaliser. yes, it may not be the same as real thing but atleast its 50% as good as the pleasure of real passionate connection. If you can from time to time get a good GFE escort that may be more than 50% of what the real deal is. So even if you have never experienced true passion/romance, its okay, you still do have some pleasure potential. You do not have to roam around with a hot chick to walk proud in front of others. You can be lonely or stuck with average looking people, but if you have the right philosophy you can have a high happiness potential and you can walk around like you are the best. Now this is easier said than done. Its good to have a hot spouse reminding you of how cool and higher up in the societal ranks you are wrt impact,pleasure or happiness potential.  But even if you are alone you can think about these things ( how philoshophical, impactful you are and hence of a higher happiness potential you are) and be happy. The problem, is when you see a hot couple on the road and you feel a bit rattled/jealous. For that moment, you need to think about how generating a very intellectual thought is more thrilling than the flirting experience you get and hence you have had more exciting moments in life than the guys with hot girlfriends. They dont get to flirt all day around with the same girl with the same excitation. That excitation decreases. So just like a thinker, even they experience high excitation moments only occasionally and not all the time. So as a thinker your life can be very exciting/pleasurable too than the lifes of people with hot girlfriends. Thinkers seek a lot of knowledge and everytime they do they get excited from TV,YT, documentaries, debates, reading etc etc . This is a lot of exciting moments compared to someone who does not get those Intelligent stuff and who only seek simpler things and may be are successful in acquiring some relationships. The thing is – we dont see these things as as important compared to sex.  This is why free time and not working 10 or 12 hours a day is important – where you have a lot of free time to do things that excite you.Yes the dopamine may be more in sex, but our excitations here and there may add up to more pleasure overall. Maybe if you have created/invented stuff thats very cool, you would have realised that the excitation via intelligent stuff may be more than with sex. We just have to look at intelligence stuff as nearly as pleasurable as flirting n sex and stop giving so much importance to sex n flirting n stuff. When you see a hot couple next time think about this – that your life is probably more exciting than theirs because generating an intellectual thought is more exciting,pleasurable than flirting.   

In the end, I think most people more or less have almost the same amount of dopamine rush in their life. If you are totally green, you get a dopamine rush for even the smallest of things, and if you are so used to something, the dopamine response for the same is reduced. So whether ur source of dopamine is sex or science or drugs or music or whatever – it all balances out and ultimately a healthy you have nearly the same pleasure as that of any rockstar (jaded or otherwise). But happiness potential – people’s happiness levels can vary a lot depending on what happens to them and their mindset. And an intelligent person is likely to be more happy. So being intelligent makes you better than being sexy – impact wise, happiness wise and excitation/pleasure wise. 

But if you are high in happiness potential – it means you are superior/ the best rite and people should want to be with you rite? – but that doesnt happen all the time. You can be a proud scientist and a waitress wouldnt understand why you are so happy, and if you cannot talk about stuff that excites them – you cannot impress most people. So having higer happiness potential doesnt mean you can generally be attractive to (most)people.

So the only thing left to do is to carry the confidence at all times, a confidence thats gonna trump the confidence of others – esp the confidence that dumb but marginally good looking people seem to have mostly. To carry this at all times you gotta realise intelligence makes you better and thus be happy and confident all the time. Intelligence definitely makes for better impact & happiness potential, not sure about pleasure potential, but still this should inspire confidence in you and make you more confident than a person who is good looking hooking up with a partner in a situation.

Mostly they will get the better of the situation, but you are gonna reflect upon it and think about how intelligence most definitely has a better happpiness potential and so you are gonna enjoy more upon that reflection. Your life is gonna be better than theirs in actual, so let them have their moment. You can try to put up a confident face at that time, but recover if you dont succeed in rattling them. 

In this situation keep focusing on how intelligence is most definitely gonna lead to a happier life and hence that moment was a positive moment because you were able to reflect on that. This is similar to how if you see a noticeable couple and you think I have had a better girl you automatically feel up. Instead of  a better girl and pleasurable moment, you have intelligence and better life.  I mean thinking about how intelligence is better than romancecan come later, but at that moment – try to have the below strategy. Tyrying to put up a conifdent face – best strategy is to think of the situation where you have made a girl feel nervous – that feeling,that demeanour , that confidence you had in that moment you can try to have that in your face. By thinking about that – you can bring the right demeanour with confidence in your face instead of coming across like a pathetic stare.

So things to remember here are :

  • Its okay you feel different when you look at attractive people. You can still very well be better than them
  • At the moment try to put up a confident face – by thinking about how you have made someone nervous and , trying to have the same demeanour n confidence at that instant – actually u know what, dont think too much about this. Do what comes to you naturally – whatever demeanour you put up if you think you are better than the other – others who you think are a competition to you. Whatever demeanour you put, they can sense that you are trying to act like you are better and will think that you think you are better. This is better coz of the time constraint. In situation where you have more time, you can bring in various thoughts and act that way. In short situations – put up the demeanour with the attitude that comes easily to you. Actually 0-5 seconds cant do anything. 5 – 15 seconds – can have that snobbish look – that comes a bit naturally. above 15 secs, gotta get ur confident look by then. SNbbish look indicates you are a bit jealous but still you think u can be a rival to their status. But the confident look wil truely rattel them. But you can aim to get than confident look ater only 15 or 20 seconds of time. So dont be disappointed if you dont have enough time to bring that up confidence frequently. If you bring the snobbish look, thats good enough in most scenarios longer than 5 or 6 seconds.And after the 15 – 20 seconds when you get comfortable enough, you have to act like how a person that feels truely superior acts. He/she doesnt act snobbish,they act like they are reacting to being approached. they walk around with the feeling anticipating that everyone else will be approaching them since they are so high and mighty. This is generally a feminine way of acting so to say -They speak/act like they are politely responding to other peoples approaches. So the best way to act is act like everyone else is approaching you with the belief that you are truely superior. Even if the other is in an confrontational demeanor towards you – Dont react back and try to push and be aggressive. Act like the other person is being aggressive out of a jealousy and hence wants to connect and deal with you somehow – even if its not necessarily that way(like mentioned in my next blog on winning a fight). Act like you are dealing with a filthy low class person who is aggressive coz he is jealous of you of a better class. ACtually, there is a better way to act even within the first 5 seconds or the 5 to 15 seconds. Instead of being snobbish – if you just look at them even if as to indicate you like what you see – that natural look in itself says confidence. Only if you try to look away/act snobbish or try something different it looks like you are bothered and trying hard. But if you simply just look – it somehow is just better. Obviously you have reasons and internal confidence, and that clearly shows if you just look and dont try to do anything different at all.With simply starring – there is a passiveness thats associated with calmness and only a reaction – any kind of reaction looks like you are bothered. After 100s of selfie videos i have kinda figured this out.Actually  nothing is a normal stare. Even the coolest of the cool people have a different stare/look towards people that they perceive are attractive compared to normal people.
    When you see someone that you like – you look for a couple of seconds and what follows is what is important.
    What follows is your quick assesment of if you have moves/answers to deal with what you see. If you dont – it bothers you.
    If you do you continue to look in an optimistic way. Optimistic look means you are a top person yourself.
    In many cases what you look are from a different group/race/lingo etc for which you do not have enough moves/answers or know what it takes to impress them.And these shortcomings makes you question if you are not good enough for them or if they are betetr than you. Take nerd for example – they are future scients and really impactful people – but they see artists/musician and they wonder or dont have answers for what it is that they can do to impress the other group. So they are not well versed with how the other group has fun or enjoys the good things in life. So your immediate thought after you see someone you like for 2 seconds is whether you have what it takes to impress them. This is where some of you may struggle coz either you are not from the same group as they are or cant offer anything fun that is fun n impressive for the other.
    So what i would say is another 2-3 seconds goes away in realising that you may not be 100% comfortable in dealing with/impressing what you see and like. So after the 5 seconds – you should think about how really superior you are and get that comfort/confidence in you. When you have the confidence, things will follow and the right look/demeanour to posses will automatically come to you.So the only thing that bothers you in almost all situations is you think dont have what it takes to impress them. So yeah, the next time ur in that situation get over the not being able to impress them part in 5 seconds and be confident that you are superior to them after 5.It would be good if they are indeed somone who you can be coomfortable dealing with, but if not just get over it in 5 seoncds and have the superiority feeling which is also a good feeling. With other groups you can come to this confidence relatively quickly, only with people who are from your similar background – ur language, ur city – you take more time to ponder over whether or not u shall impress them ( that 2 to 5 seconds). Coz they are from ur background and u’d think u’ll be should be able to impress but their demeanour is a lil different and so you get t thinking how should I deal with them. 
  • Later, think about how ur life is better than theirs because of you .intelligence/impact n happiness potential

Now i will give final thoughts on the right demeanor after 5 seconds of coming across an attractive person,which can be remembered.
now the objective of having the right demeanor is to indicate that u genuinely think u r better than them – which is gonna rattle em out/make an impact on them.So keeping in mind this objective lets work out the best demeanour.
In that, the snobbish demeanour works if they are making moves to sell something and you in that case try to put it down by acting snobbish.
That confidently friendly look is only appropriate when you are trying to connect with them
The feminine ‘everybody is trying to connect with me’ demeanour works only when there is confrontation/interaction.

While simply just walking past(manjority of the situation where the encounter is short and so this is what you have to remember) there can be different approches that work depending on ur personality / scenario. One can have that ari schaeffer/Luis gomes aggressive confidence/demeanor or one a better one – anthony hopkins/di caprio superiority confidence orsomething more tailor made according to your personality.
Generally South indians are not that god looking and to any alien walking amongst us, those aliens already feel like they are walking among lesser beings and even if you are quite smart – they already have the upper hand there since you belong to a local group whom they consider themselves to be above. This situation is also applicable for anyone confronting someone who thinks they are more good looking than you. In this situation you have to be aggressively putting up a demeanor/attitude which will rattle them, as if you just put up your normal,relaxed stare to indicate your superiority(like diccaprio/hopkins) – it wont get to them that well as chances are – they will just brush you off as a nice n humble n positive person looking at them and continue to belive they are better. The nice and relaxed stare works in situations where the other is attractive(yet lookable) but dont have a big upper hand over you in terms of judgigng by looks/background etc. So with your main kinda nemesis on the street – you have to have a mild smirky look – smirky being the aggressive part without any smirk on your lips. The mild smirkyness has to come out in your eyes – so as to indicate that i think im better than you and you are just an eye candy – kinda expression in a very subtle way indicating your confidence over them.
So remember – mild smirky eyes when you see a hot person , everything else you can figure out later.Its different for a hot person/group , but as a not so look wise appealing person/group you need to be a bit aggressive in your face to indicate you think you are better.The strategy is different when you are punching above your background/looks. A hot person- a person with background and looks already has his confidence established, however you have to prove wrong what seems apparent( that the other person is better than you). So yeah they can be confident and nice and positive, but you have to be a bit snobbish,aggressive,mean or whatever it takes to indicate you think you are better – and you may even appear as if you are bothered while doing so, whereas they can afford be confident and positive. The more you follow this strategy, it comes naturally and quickly over time and you can be top of most situations when confronting people in any situations fighting, dealing or just glancing as you walk past. So yeah carry that attitude around.And if you are in high spirits already like how most youth are and how those hi-flyers are, you will carry that confidence already and that can be helpful too, and it feels like you are the best when you are walking around, but that will go away when your youth goes away and when you realise you are not all that. But if you are not high in spirits you gotta try and get that aggressive demaenour – simply because you are either not that attractive or a hi-flyer. If you are attractive/high flyer belonging to an elite background, you can just be more relaxed naturally. So yeah , you have to be aggressive – but exactly how? – You have to be like i see u r attractive, but im better than you and have a better happiness potential than you. The look you’d have if you were saying those things out loud – thats the look you have to have in your face while walking past or being in the proximity of those people. So you gotta indicate you are better and indicate that you are happy/positive in that situation. But the hard part if becoming positive quickly. Thats the challenge, thats what you have to focus on being. ANything else – like having a snobbish and a mean look on your face falls short of the right thing to do – which is have an attitude with positivity. You dont have to try and act like u r being normal/unbothered – that comes across as you trying to fit in/be on level with them. Have a superiority attitude with positivity. Try to get that positivity and avoid being mean if possible. Being positive indicates higher potential than being mean esp if the other person looks better.And when i say aggressive, you just have to think out the words that you are better and that you have a higher happiness potential. You dont even have to express that overtly in your face. When those words/thoughts run in your mind – your face should automatically have the expression reflecting that so no need to try n put it up. Just think that you are of a higher happiness potential than them and everything else follows naturally in your face/demeanour. Actually, no need to try and put up a face but you should come across as more high in spirits. If you seem happier/ higher in spirits, thats the indication that you think you are better. So no need to put up a  face which is reactive to their presense, but put up a face that shows that you are high in spirits. Internalise your thoughts on how you have a better happiness potential and get in a good spirit. So be in the proximity of attrcative people and raise your spirits – thats the best reaction to being at the proximity of attractive people.By High spirited i mean – act like a king/queen or prince or princess if you wanna act like you are hot.
The natural confidence you see in others(esp good lookin ones) is because the way they have been treated by others and they just go with the flow. The minute they see someone more attractive than them, their confidence crumbles and their demeanour is not so appealing then. Others develop that confidence by making an effort to be that way and the longer they adopt that strategy – it becomes a natural thing to them.
For you – an (unrecognised but true) intellectual who know the things as I do – you have to constantly remember how superior you are when you go out in publis spaces and thus bring out that spirit/confidence. Even if you dont act like that most of the time – when the need comes – like when you are at the proximity of appealing people, you have to come up with that attitude n confidence quick. So imagine your self to be a superior/king like/most impactful person around, and you will know how to act. Act like a Royalty/highest members of human society. Thats an easy to remeber thought.
ACt like a king, you have your reasons why you are at the top and it wont come across as being fake, you ahve your reasons why you are the most elite out there.

So the imperative here is putting on an attitude. now let me tell you the difference between being normal/being yourself and putting on an attitude and why its imperative to put on the attitude.

The way you act when you act Normal is a cumulation of your past expeiences. If you have been an attractive, successful person in the real world in the past – your normal way of acting reflects that when you are dealing with people normally. You have an attitude even if you are being normal. But you – as a not so appealing intellectual may have not have this confident way of dealing with people naturaly. hence When you act like normaly do – that way is a not the same as how an appealing person would act. It is in most cases humble , nice and not very bold or aggressive and that way of acting gets lost with the masses. So if you want people to notice you for your confidence you cant act normal, you have to put up that confidence. So dont try to put up/act up – just genuinely believe that you are superior and that confidence should come automatically – whether its a snobbish confidence or a cute-ish confidence. The problem is if you try to evaluate what type of confidence you have to exhibit with different people – that leaves to trying to come up with the right demeanour and having no time to put up that demeanour.So Just put up one type of confident demeanour wherever you go. Just think that you are the person with the highest impact and happiness potential you know. I meantioned ealrier – to think of you as a king or a queen or a leader or a hero. But whatever is easier for you to feel like you are better than your surrounding. Im gonna go with I m the one with the highest impact and pleasure potential that i know – An whatever confidence those words give when you keep saying in your mind, thats the demeanour im going to put up in front of people. And it is imperative that I put up that demeanour rather than try to be normal. Another question I had was whether i should try and put up a demaenour rather than try to admire an attractive person. Well your admiration can only be a positive experience if by then end of it you feel like you are and have been able to demonstrate that you are good enough to deal with that attractive person you saw. You can admire at their beauty after you feel confident about yourself in that situation. So try to get that confidence first and then try to look at them. Okay , now most people dont act snobbish to other people even when they think they are better than the other. It is only when the other person tries to show off and in someway tries to suggest directly that they are better that you put up that snobbish look indicatig ” no guy/girl, im better than you”. But the problem today is everyone tries to be confident when walking around and so its a bit tough to decide whether you have to be snobbish or friendly. So as a general thing you can go for being a snob by default, only when you think the other has noticed your confidence, you can to be more friendly. You probably do not have a cumulative positive experience so far and so it is better to be snobbish at the begining and turn friendlier as more seconds pass by.

Oh and one more thing. Be a snob, but it has to be in a way that indicates that you have a higher happiness,pleasure potential(to an extent). Most demeanours we have is about trying to indicating we have the goods. So you have to be snobbish, but also feel sexy,cute, fun ….even if you are not sexy or cute. AFterall black can also be sexy, non-neotenous features can also be sexy if a person has a great sexy attitude n demeanour. So you have to indicate that you think you are superior AND ALSO that you have a lot of fun potential yourself.

So to remember – be snobbish and act as if to indicate you have a great pleasure/happiness potential too. But do we have to act that way in every single situation?? – YES, coz, you are at this stage in your life now. When you are young, being in the proximity of a hot girl meant you have an opportunity, but now it means something that you dont get to have, and so you have to deal appropriately with such a thing by acting snobbish and indicating your superiority. Im not saying this happens only at marriage – even before marriage , you begin to realise as a person with such background, such virtues and so on, there are certain things that can happen for you and certain things that cant. When it is at a point where the majority of it are something that you cannot have – the best demeanour is snobbish but indicating your superiority/higher potential. Maybe at a time when things were more of an opportunity – you coiuld have naturally enjoyed looking at them and try to maintain a friendly demeanour or come up with a move that improves your chances with them. But now the game has changed and you want to give out a different kinda message. Attractive people can act differently n naturally because of the advantages they feel instantaneously in that environment, but you have to be an aggressive snob. Just know that they will break down and be like fools in front of more attractive people, but you can deal with those situations too. You have to be a snob, because if you dont deal the right way, you will regret that situation. So be a snob – coz it comes naturally to people like us, trying to be fakely  high spirited shows. Just be a snob who thinks he is better than the people around him.I mean not a snob snob – but walk around carrying an confident attitude

Now a bit about how to act in front of attractive people that u see. Like I said it all about making the right moves – moves that indicate your impact potential, within the area of fun/cool things pertaining to mating.When you are walking in a public places – deep down what everyone whats to do is to make an impact on the other somehow. There are several scenarios to this. Someone who wants nothing to do with ones below them will refrain from making any moves coz they simply want to avoid them. But someone who feels inferior to the other also refrains from making any moves coz they wanna save any pain from confrontation.In the former case, it would be like – Im big enough so that the other one is not able to make any impact one me, in another scenario – the better person wants to come across like he is big enough that he is confidently making my move infront of the other, while the other isnt making any move. Even in the former scenario – by not making any moves/staying indifferent to the efforts of someone else, one is trying to send across a message that they are better than the other and thus make an impact on them. So what should you do? Obviously if u think the other is attractive, u gotta make positive moves, coz if u act otherwise – u r just kidding urself – people can sense you are acting like u r better without a proper reason and that u r truely not confident about urself. But in some cases u need to have an attitude too which is explained below. Even with someone who u think is marginaly attractive and that u r better than them, u still want to make an impact on them. So the fact that u r trying to make an impact on them doesnt mean that they r superior to you.  So, For the first 2 to 3 seconds u see an atractive girl/guy you just stare at their beauty, for the next 2 to 3 seconds you still stare thinking how better than u they r wrt beauty/fun stuff.  Right there  they have already made an impact on you, but you are yet to make an impact on them and at this point they are the ones superior to you hence. You generally cant do much about that, but recover after some 6 or 7 seconds and realise how impactful and superior you are in comparison to them or the guy/girl hitting them. ( if you are a nihiilist, your life is also better than theirs). And now after the 7 seconds, have an attitude in your face — which they might note — and which might  shake them up and leave them wondering how eaxctly does this person think they are better than them. If they see that attitude in your face ( attitude with a real reason and not just fake attitude without proper reason) they will be shaken n wondering and thats all the impact that you can hope to make. Somewhere in my blogs or vlogs ive mentioned why Intelligence is more impactful than looks- cos the most attractive guy can only bring about some 10000 kids at absoulte max with his charming ability. A person of intelligence can make or wipe out billions of lifes and influence billions of lives(example the guy who figured how to trap nitrogen to make ammonia). So attitude with a real reason is important, and when u have this true confidence and attitude with a real reason, all you have to do is to have a demeanour that indicates you will be willing to make playful/fun move for the others — which they might sense and reciprocate leading to positive relations. Even people who know you are better than them will be genuinely nice( make fun,positive moves towards you). They simply accept u r better and just hope that they can impact you in some ways. Only problem is , they get let down by people who think they are better and sometimes they start to care about being superior to others. But mostly people just stare and walk past so you just have to indicate that you think you are better than them, not try to come across as friendly. Only in the case that you think that the other person respects you and thinks you are impactful and wants to connect with you, you change your demeanor to being friendly, till then “im holier than thou” attitude will do just fine while you are walking by and seeing people who think they are up there.

Now only 2 kinds of people have it easy and have the natural confidence 1) people with good looks(pleasure potential) and 2 ) people who are the elite/sophisticated(impact potential)- in india people who talk in english all the time and act not so much like a typical indian but an hybrid-westernish person.  1 st category instantly know that they are being looked at when they walk in a public place, 2nd category – They belong to a elite circle and can instantaneously classify the surrounding crowd as below them and hence they get that confidence instantly. These hybrid coconuts however feel inferior to foreigners when walking amongst them.

Now you will notice these types and stare at them for a while – you cant help that. many pretend to not notice them but still both parties know who feels they are superior and inferior. Now if you are someone that doesn not have looks or do not belong to an elite crowd, but still upon reflection you know you are a better/having more impactful person, this is how it has to be. For the first 4 or 5 seconds you simply stare at them admiring/noticing/analyzing their goods. But what you have to do is think about how you are the better/more impactful person and find true confidence and superiority about yourself – almost like you are ready for a confrontation with them with confidence.  However you cant just be mean all the time, you may also have to try and befriend them for either romantic or other kinds of association. So words that have to go through your mind is ” I M BETTER THAN YOU , BUT I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY/DEAL WITH YOU” With this attitude in your head you can also establish your supremacy but also open up your chances of impacting them positively/mutually. If you r truely intelligent and have a better impact potential , you as a south indian also belong to the most successful group on earth and this have a good background – if you wanna know how, you gotta check out my other blogs n youtube channel videos.So there are plenty of reasons for you to feel superior to the coconuts or the ones blessed with hotness. But keep reading the older draft of this – where ive discussed some stuff in detail.
But only from one perspective ‘making an impact’ is the ultimate thing in life and your impact potential is what makes you better or worse than the other. But from the
perspective of a number of other schools of thought – say for example nihilism or buddhism, what matters most is happiness. ANd now there’s 3 things in contention –
Impact potential, pleasure potential and Happiness potential. Although from this perspective pleasure trumps impact, it doenst mean that one who has the most
pleasurable life is the most happiest. One can have a better happiness potential based on their philosophy or other virtues. So Eiher by impact potential or happiness
potential, intelligent ones can have the confidence that they are better than the charming ones who seem to have all the worldy pleasures happen for them.

So final takewaway is – u just have to have a proper reason to believe in your superiority n not fake it and whether u choose to have an attitude or try to be friendly depends on the situation. But its not that you always compare urself with people u see. When you see a noticeable person your mind either starts thinking whether they are better than you or not, or , thinks about whether you can be with them or atleast u are with a group of people like or better than them . This blog has thus far already dealt with how you go about comparing urself and feeling better. But sometimes, you feel like why cant you be with that person even though you may feel like u r better than them. If you feel that way , i think what one has to do is think about how your life is still better/happier than someone who gets to have them in their life. Better/Happier coz of ur happiness potential – owing to your better philosophy. The moment you see a person like that should instantaneously turn into a moment of reflection of how better ur life is,  or simply just enjoy admiring them knowing that ur life is better and feeling good at the end of it.  If you do this quick enough you come across as someone with potential.Even if you dont do it quick enough, end of it you should process everything and get feeling good – either coz of ur reflection of your betterness or coz of getting to see an attractive person and getting turned on for some moment. Bu the above is just so that you start feeling good, and you still have to make an impact when ur out in front of others – somehow its not enough if u just feel good abt yourself. So to make an impact, you have to get ur confidence as soon as possible and indicate the passers by that you think you are better than them, that will shake them up – which is ur impact on them. For this, whenever u go out in the public, you can be ready for it and carry an attitude all the time. You know what im saying – some people whenever they are in public – always walk around with an attitude. If you cant always walk around with an attitude, you should atleast be able to generate that attitude/confidence at the quickest. you should simply try to have an attitude most of the time ” thinking that im better than most people coz i have a better philosophy in life, and this philosophy beats looks,power,money,sophistication & other pleasures”. If you cant have that attitude all the time – just the ability to get the confidence quickly. As a strategy you can try to have an attitude when u walk past too many people in a mall or something where you dont have enough time. but in a place where you are with people over a period of time, you can stay relaxed and take your time to display your attitude and make an impact.In situations when you are generally relaxed suddenly come across attractive people where you dont even have enough time to make an impact( say for example you are going in a car and you see someone attractive walk past)- thats the tricky one – you dont get to make an impact as in most of the limited moments you have – you are just staring them processing their attractiveness. There is an urge for you to make an impact on them coz after you make an impact you are happier. But the whole point of trying to make an impact is just to be happy, so even if you dont make an impact ( by making them notice you) you can reflect about how you are better than them and feel happy about it. You can just do your best to make an impact there, but its hard to switch quickly – so just know that its okay that you didnt get to show ur attitude to them. It is the attractive and the elite ones that get to make the impact in those situations mostly.You can only try to get ur confidence asap and make them notice. Most of the time you wont even be in a position where they can notice you and so its hard for you to make an impact. But if they dont notice you, it means that they dont realise the impact theyve made on you and hence you dont have to feel like youve let someone else make an and impact on you without you being able to do the same on them – so its okay, you dont have to feel down about not being able to make an impact on them. Just know that if you get to confront them one on one you will be able to get the better ( assuming that you are confident about your impact & happiness potential). In the case that they do notice you noticing them, you have a chance to make them realise ur confidence – even if its only a fraction of a second. So be prepared for that fraction of a moment – if you see someone attractive walking past but you dont know if they will notice you or not, be prepared for it anyway and bring that attitude in ur face – for if they notice ur confidence, u would have made an impact on them.Actually the moment you stare – it doesnt indicate whether you feel confident or not – its the way you follow through after you notice/stare at them that tells whether you think you are better than them or not. Simply staring at others doesnt come across as you thinking they are better – your follow up demeanour does. So a short stare and a quick follow up with a better demeanour is the way. And after you have walked past you can think about what would happen if you interact with them and if you feel that you are superior to them you will be happy in your head.

Actually we still havent adequately explained how the sophisticated and good looking people feel confident all the time. They dont constantly asses every single moment their surroundings – it is done very subconsciously they get a feel /estimate the surrounding and carry with them their confidence most of the time. So when they carry the confidence around, even if they stare at you in some instances, it doesnt come across as someone beneath you is staring at you. Unfortunately if you are not good looking or a of a  sophisticated circle, you cannot get that feel constantly.  These people have the confidence all along the time they look at you, but you may need to generate it and takes time for you and so it doesnt come to you naturally if you are not that category. They have this confidence naturally because in their heads they are thinking about stuff/people in their life who all belong to an upper circle with confidence and act accordingly.These people are used to dealing with people of that circle who are confident and so in their heads its mostly these confident people and they mostly have a demenour that exhibits confidence since they are also part of that circle.Its not even like they are assessing each and everyone they come across, they can feel confident in most environments and even when they come across someone of calibre, they do not have to change their demeanour so much since they already have such high calibre people in their heads. They notice others only if they have a potential(higher) than what people in their circle/heads like looks or sophistication. If not they dont even notice the ones they walk past – they do this pretty fast too cuz if they are used to pretty/sophisticated faces, not many can grab their attention unless they have higher potential. It is easy for good looking, well dressed people to hence grab attention in public places rather than intelligent people with actual high happiness potential. When you notice someone it means they have some higher potential(happiness/pleasure/impact) than the people of your circle- the ones whom you r accustomed to. And when u notice them you spend around 3 seconds noticing/analysing them -and this comes across as they are better than you. But you have to feel more confident after you are done analysing that you are better than them. dont think that ur life would be better if you are with them rather than the current people in your life, but you should think that your life is better than theirs whenever you come across people that have the potential. When i came back after living in australia for 4 years, i carried that confidence and now its declined. I have confidence in some settings. Actually even if you are hot stuff yourself, if you havent seen as many good looking people before – you stare. You just have to have been in a cirlce/atmosphere where you see good looking people most of that time – in which case you dont stare too much at someone good looking and can quickly display a confidence. But if you are not from that background – you begin to stare more. So its just who you see/hang out/belong with most of the time that affects whether you stare at people for long or not and how qucikly you can bring your confidence. If your friends circle/background is average you will be staring at people for a longer time and cant bring up ur confidence quickly – even though you maybe of a higher impact or happiness potential. It all just depends on your background. So send ur kids to good schools. So think about it, you have definitely seen hot people but ones who u know instantly are below you status wise and so you look at them with confidence almost instantly. Only if you are not from a elite background you start ogling at someone attractive for sometime before you recover from your ogling and start to pose with confidence. This person just have to be at your status or maybe slightly higher than the crowd you generally hang out with for you to feel this way ( shaken at first, but able to recover later).People only have to be slightly better than the status of people who ur used to seeing everyday for you to feel that way – its not necessary that it makes you below them.You always walk around with a feeling -anticipating dealing with people of a certain status/range. If someone who is beyond that(either in pleasure potential or happiness/impact potential or with a higher status) shows up -which you were not anticipating…you have to change your mindset – the way you carry yourself and all that to deal with them. Thats requires sometime – you cant change much about it. Thats why its better if you belong to a elite background – you just feel confident in most times and scenarios and since your strategy/mindet is already wrt dealing with elite people in mind, you can instantaneously feel better than most people you see . This also gives people the impression that you are as good as the circle you belong to – but this is not true you can be of a much higher happiness potential than the family you are born into or the friend’s circle you get. South Indians/tamils in general are of low happiness/pleasure & impact potential generally and so you as a tamil will look at northies with awe on occasions when you see them. But like i said, watch my other blogs and realise that you are of better impact/happiness potential.  And when you realise that you are better than the attractive person in front of you – you just have to look at them with a confidence – “im better than you but id like to deal with you” confidence and look at them with comfort/a sense of superiority / without any insecurity – as if you were looking at a hot girl but from a naive background. In real life, you dont have time to think of all the reasons why you are better, so just know that you are of a better potential from the top of the head. Just start looking at them with a confidence. The only thing that you realize is that they are better than your cirlce, but quickly realise that they are not better than you.So just instantaneously look at them with confidence as if you would look at a person who is attractive but not as much an impact/coolness potential as you. White people carry this feeling all the time with other races .And there is an hierarchy among races. Indians feel this confidence over mongoloids and Negroids, but not so much with other caucasians. So dont even think, just look at people with confidence in most situations – you can work out later how you personally are better and that they might just be better/attractive than the people you regulary see.Its actually not even status or anything, we tend to notice people who are ultimately higher at happiness potential (not the fake happiness potential like most moral do gooders). We are evaluating happiness potential of people in our surroundings and the minute someone with a formidable potential comes, we need to adjust our strategy and so it takes time for that. If you are from a circle/background where people are of a higher happiness potential, your adjustment is limited as you are already walking around with an mindset/stratgey that fits into to those. If not, you have to raise your game and get your confidence as soon a possible and get that ” im better than you but i still wanna deal with you” demeanor indicating your confidence/happiness potential. And happiness potential roughly is a factor of  looks and sophistication after all. And when i say adjust your strategy – it doesnt mean falsely believing you have a better happiness potential – its just that these “attractive” people have a higher potential than the regular people in your life and so you have to change your demeanor accordingly. Either the people you see are below or above the average potential of your cirlce. For the ones adjudged below – there is no adjustment needed as, as per your natural instincts you dont really want anything from them. For the ones above your background( not you necessarily but your background), your natural instincts are to do something about it and want to do something with them. Thats why you feel like you should do something about them. But the fact that you wanna do something with them doesnt mean they are above you – it just means they have something to offer that can enhance your life experience than what you have currently- like the people in your circle / background. It may also be the case that you can offer or enrich their life way more that what they can offer you with your impact/pleasure/happiness potential, but still you’d be interested in them. So its okay and natural that for the ones above your feel/approach has to be different than the regular people. You need to bring up your confidence in those cases and display them in your demeanour, dont go feeling insecure. I mean you may become insecure if you dont have reasons to believe that you are of a higher potential . But the point here is, you dont have to wonder why you feel like acting differently with some people especially attractive/high potential people. I have, for the longest time wondered why people act differently with different people and that its bad to act that way. But now i guess the above points justfy the difference in our feeling wrt diff category of people. Regarding that “wanting to do something about them” part – you just have to get ready to engage with you confidence ( true confidence which comes naturally with proper reasons)- the feeling which you can skip with normal people. Actually need to continue on here…Theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you know are below you. And theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you are not sure if they are too good for you meaning – they are of a higher potential than you.But if you are not sure if they are too good for you, it is only a reflection of the people who are in your circle/background mostly. You may be still be better than them individually coz of ur philosophy/coolness/happiness potential etc.The logic ive been telling before applies here, its mostly just about your background if you feel you may not be good enough for certain people. If you are philosophically sound, you are a cool person with a great happiness potential and so you be proud of yourself and feel better than most people you see.

So the kinds of people there are are

  1. people who you wanna have nothing to do with
  2. people who you wanna do something to with – but know you are better than them
  3. people who you wanna do something to with – but they are higher than the background/professional/friends circle you belong to but not better than you
  4. people who you wanna do something to with – they are better than your circle, and they maybe better than you if you dont have enough happiness potential. Hopefully you dont feel this way about anyone and you are truely cool/of a higher happiness potential than anyone else you come across in person, owing to your better philosophy.

Since from a nihilistic point of view, being happy is the ultimate aim of life ( & even from buddhist & bhagwath gita point of view) people who seem happiest/upbeat/confident in any place/environment r themost suprior people in that environment. Not fake happy but real happy about who they are and their impact potential or pleasure potential or their happiness potential.


To Summarise :

South indians and tamils especially have a high intelligence and thus impact potential and hence can also have high happiness potential if they have the right attitude/philosophy/confidence despite not having a great pleasure potential.
When you walk around and deal with others – only the ones who belong to a family/friends circle with a high potential(looks,sophistication etc) will be able to maintain a cool demeanour by not having to stare at people who they come across – this is because they already have high potential people in their lives and heads all the time and already have a strategy/demeanour thats appropriate to deal with them.  The others will for atleast 2 to 3 seconds notice and stare and analyse people with potential that they come across. So you can still be a 5 but not belong to an elite circle and hence end up staring at people in places, but it does not mean that the ones who you are staring at is better than you. We always subconsciously try to make an impact on people we see to self assure and to derive pleasure out of – for example by making people notice us (for good reasons).  However, if you are a 5 but belong to a circle of 1’s you will end up staring at 2’s n 3’s n 4’s and so in a 2 to 3 second game where you only notice each other for 2 to 3 seconds before you walk past – you will not be able to win( make an impact) . This is inevitable because the human instinct is to analyse something worthwhile that they come across and it will see how to make an impact on them. So one starts to think about how to deal with them to make an impact on them for sometime – may be 4 to 5 seconds takes up this time and so during this time you cannot change your demeanour that faster to indicate that you think you are better. Only if your engagement can be longer for upto 7 or 8 seconds, after staring you can think about how you are better than them and then you can display ur confidence – which will make them wonder why you think you are better( apparant from the confidence in your face). A best strategy is to immediately realise that you are better than them – and you can think of the reasons later. You should obviously know why you are a 5 – need to have a good philosophy, know what life is all about and get that impact and happines potential. ANother important thing is, when u r with a circle of 1s and see a 3, you should not keep wondering about how ur life could be better if you were with them, instead u should think about how ur life as a 5 is better than theirs or the ones with them. SO just let go the less than 5 second game – you can reflect later thinking about how u r better than them even if you have starred at them and feel happy. And try to follow the above method to get ur confidence and make an impact on people in longer engagements.This is tough, but dont go bout analysing why they are better and dont get down thinking ‘why arent they/such people in my life’ when you see better looking people. I mean thats the natural way of thinking – wanting people with better potential in your life, but dont let that get you down for an extended period. Just think of how you are better and hence how your life is better. Just let go the instances where you just get to deal with them for 4-5 secsonds or less – you cannot make an impact, so dont worry about that, but think that in the longer engagement you will be able to make an impact on them by virtue of your superiority. So just know that you are not compromising any of your natural instincts to make an impact in the 4-5 seconds game – you cannot win in the 4-5 seconds game, but in a longer engagement you will.So whenever you see people who catch your eye – just go – im better than them esp happiness potential wise.

You may have to think about all the above points again and again, but to answer the question of how to act when you see someone attractive and of a higher scale than your background(not necessarily you) – it sokay if you get to stare/oggle for one or two seconds its natural . If you stare it doesnt mean that you are not on a higher scale yourself – although you may think that people on a higher scale dont generally stare/oggle. The reason as I explained is a difference in the background/exposure and the people on their minds and their everyday demeanour which is adjusted to ones background. So even if you stare you can be of a higher class. So you can stare/or avoid looking deliberately & act like you dont notice them/put up a snobbish face and act indifferent/ try to make an impact on them/ fail to make an impact on them/ think about why you cant be with them/fail in that situation or win in that situation, or do anything you can. But realise that you are better in the end and stop bothering yourself about how you did or didnt act in front of them. Like i said – you dont have enough time to exhibit the right behaviour under these circumstances if you are not good looking or from a higher circle yourself.

So what do you do when u come across noticeable person momentarily and u seem to be bothered by you not being able to be with them? well nothing, thats a losing moment for you – anything you do.  you wont be able to do anything right about it unless you are extremely hot and elite yourself that you catch their eye.You dont get to show them anything, or make ur impact on them or anything at all. Just recover at the earliest u can once u get home with the reasons why you are still superior. If there was more time, u can make the right moves. Only hot and sophisticated people get to walk around making heads turn in public places- and you can do nothing about it to change that in ur case. But , only in the short momentary scenario thats the case. If there was more time, you can make your impact too and make them feel you are better than them too. Like when you walk into a really high class venue you are nervous initially and everyone seems relaxed. But when you have had the time to settle down n relax , you will appear as a relaxed confident person too.  So dont go thinking that you didnt handle that moment well, the thing that needs to be done is prove to yourself that you can recover at the soonest. You losing that moment might make you a bit lesser and elevate the other , and maybe a bad thing in the larger scheme of things.  But its the inefficiency of the momentary scenario that favors the good looking and elite and you cant do anything about it, and you wont ever have a chance to reverse it by giving it back to them someday.You just have to let it go.  You just have to recover. And you just have to feel like you are superior again. And when you feel positive at a lot of times, occasionally you may be able to rattle one of those others belonging to the good-looking / elite( a lot of times phony) group . When you accept the loss, let it go, recover – you will genuinely feel like a better person for this character you have exhibited. So just try to enjoy staring/ogling at them, know that its a win for them and a loss for you, you will feel down for a while, but recover later knowing that you are better and that you will get a better scenario sometime to rattle them/people like them  for which you have the potential. Also, dont feel if you did not ogle – its hard doing the right thing in thast situation, so just accept it and then recover. Maybe  you can imagine giving it back to the same person that u just saw in an imaginary situation with ur wits n potential- that will bring you up.This is the way it has to be – any other things/demeanor you try – its gonna be unnatural and it will show and it will fail if you dont have the looks or the exposure/background. If it is a certain group that make u feel this way, if you are exposed to them often and do it the above mentioned way, you will get used to em and you will be able to project that confidence more quickly/on the spot. Thats why exposure to elite crowd in your family/friends circle is important.The natural confidence/appealing look that attractive/sophisticated people have in their face – its a reflection of the mostly creamy people/things on their mind and how they typically & hence instantaneously project such a confident demeanour in a given surrounding. The more even you have such hi-fi people things concepts on your mind the more times you are gonna come across as someone intriguing/hep to the others. For example you may not always think about philosophy of hi-funda things, but the moment those higher things are in your head – you feel very confident even in front of some of the most elite people who at that instant dont appear as if they are pondering over something impactful.

The above is the best way to deal with the situation because of this..Most of the people who rattle you – they dont even notice you. So they havent gained anything on their end and its upto you to feel good at the end of it ( which you can do by imagining giving it to them in a scenario in which u r supreme cos of ur potential). Some poeple notice u noticing them, but they dont think much of it and again dont gain anything by it. Only few people get an ego boost by snubbing you and reigning superior in that situation.  This situation actually means they consider u a worthwhile person as reigning over u has made them happy – thats one consoling thing there. But This situation is especially bad for you if you think the other is from a rival faction ( eg the girl being a northie and ur a south indian and you kinda hate northies and dont want them to feel good at ur expense especially). The only thing u can do in this scenario is again imagine a scenario where u are sureme and get stronger mentally. If you know that you are better and can recover and feel good by imagining a situation in which u are better, this is a win for you in the end and u get a bit stronger & happier mentally – so imagine that scenario. So when u come across someone attractive think that 1) You are better than them 2) Your life is better than theirs(their partners) because of how u get to apply ur thoughts 3) About how that moment is a better moment for you than for them as u get to reflect on how u r better and feel happy about it, despite any ego boost they may have gotten on their end.  But to feel the second ( about how ur life is better than theirs)point, u gotta think about a situation/scenario that you have experienced or that you may experience because of  ur potential that is going to be positive for you. Infact confident/happy ones – mostly have such people/things on their mind. If you have not had any experience with a prettier person than the one you see before you – you just have to recover by thinking about how better you are and how you feel better most of the times because of your potential/what u know. I would say that seeing someone prettier on the streets is a distressful sensory input. Anything that makes u wanna act and change the situation is pain/ worry/bad thing and anything that relaxes you is a pleasurable/happier/good thing. Since you get worked up and feel a need to do something – seeing an attractive person( not when you have conquered/made an impact on them) on the street is a distressful thing. So follow the above process and recover eventually when you can, and come out in the positive at the of it. Know that every time u see someone, you are gonna think about it, recover and at the end are gonna feel stronger/positive/happier for having the philosophy mental strength & reasons to feel happy about it – the reason may not be just one super experience/reason that does it – but you are gonna think about so many things that are good for you and so many experience and potential experiences thats gonna add up to you realizing that you have a better life. So the next time – seeing a pretty person – just realize its gonna be a positive thing for you in the end for a longer time,  despite being a distressful thing initially.

Actually, i think the following strategy is also good. The minute you see someone, recollect the things/words that make u think how ur life is better without them. I just say existential success, robotics, knowledge,philosophy , intellect – higher impact potential and happiness potential. When i bring these words into my mind, im happier and if theres time left after this recollection, you can try to bring up a demeanor that’s gonna make them notice and have an impact on them.

Older Draft

Who would you rather be in the car, Ranbir or the chauffeur?

Ranbir..the guy riding back seat,the better looking one of the two, and Rates higher among the 2 in overall potential to attract women. He doesnt have enough clicks because he didnt use axe

The chauffeur..the guy who rates low overall among the two.but has got more clicks because of using axe.

Lets assume that the clicks pertain to half their ‘in the game’ period and still have another half ahead of them.

If you are ranbir, the moment you enter the car, you feel like you are the better man amongst the,status,looks,(also assume knowledge / intelligence) inherent potential to be successful in the dating game and other things in life wise.

But when you find out that the other guy has had much more positive experiences(clicks in this case)…how does this change things about who is the better man? the happier man?

[since im a guy this example is from the guys perspective, but the same scenario of is also applicable for women]

Our objective is to live a good life (whatever you describe as good – fun,pleasurable,happier,noble etc etc) and more positive experience moments in our life.

Experiences can be anything like

indulging in physical pleasures like eating chocolates or having a nice swim etc,

emotionally and intellectually connecting with people, sharing jokes, discussing current affairs , blogging/vlogging and discussion in them,

Or moments of epiphany,soul searching..if you are a researcher or a philosopher or a social / political scientist,

or moments of positivity/negativity where you win or lose something while gambling an interview, or you realise that you have worked out a better strategy than your competitors .

A kid that has had chocolates more time another kid has had a better childhood than the other.

Thus an individual who has had more positive moments has had a better life than some one who doesnt.

So someone who might have born rich and does not have a significant increase in his fortune thereafter, might have not had so many positive experiences as compared to some one who had been able to accumulate even a fraction of that wealth by winning/getting paid.

I mean he can make use of the money to get other positive experiences, but Wealth wise, the later guy has had more positive experiences.

When there is a comparison between the 2 regarding wealth, The richer guy will feel superior in this aspect an momentarily make the other guy feel jealous, but from career wise, the later guy has had a better professional growth..And this scenario can be extended to all areas of life.

Although ranbir kapoor is inherently better than the other guy in matters of mating with his looks, status etc, the other guy has had a better romantic life with more positive experiences.

But the main point here is, despite his positive experiences, when he meets ranbir kapoor he will still feel less gifted to ranbir. Generally when someone is able to accumulate a lot of positivity, we tend to think that the person is automatically more talented and has more potential. But not all winners are intelligent/talented and not all talented/intelligent people have had success in their lives. So by looking at the click count, the chauffeur might think that he is inherently better than ranbir, but after carefully assessing all factors they both might come to the realisation that ranbir is inherently better.

Well, does experiences not matter then when it comes to evaluating an individuals inherent potential?

Answer(acc too me): Only those experience through which one gains and accumulates an attribute that contribute to ones inherent potential some sort of knowledge or intellectual or emotional connection, or even physical qualities, or even making money matters.  I mean the more such kinda experiences you have,,at the end of the day you are richer, physically better or  Intellectually/knowledge wise you have more, and these things help you get more positive moments in the future. Experiences  give you nice memories ,which gives you pleasure in the future when you think about it. I can say for sure,human connections thus carry more of a memory component rather than a swim in the ocean or eating a nice meal. Even someone who has had bad experience in the past..has experienced something that he knows uniquely and hence adds to his inherent knowledge/potential

eating chocolates are just momentary postive expereinces..You are not accumulating anything because of these experiences( however, if you have tasted something that is very unique that not many have had the pleasure of, then that adds to your unique -ness..something extra that you have experienced compared to the others).

I mean you can feel proud of and gain a lot(knowledge or ideas wise) from experiences such as exchanging mails with Noam chomsky or even when you talk/intellectually connect with someone from a totally different culture/place(and even remebering these moments give u pleasure/confidence in the future), but by eating the same chocolate for the 100th time you have accumulated nothing.

The Clicks in the axe ad,although are positive moments, are just re-assurances of this guys attractiveness(which ranbir is better by measuring the inherent factors) and this is just because the guy has been in the right place at the right time. Had these clicks been an relationship or an affair with more of a intellectual connection..those could be categorised as accumulative experiences. But if were just assurances of this guys doesnt count as something that he has with respect to inherent attributes.

I mean you can keep on feeling superior by going to very impoverished areas and comparing your life with theirs( I guess thats why many foreign nationals like to do a trip of the impoverished areas in feel better about themselves, and feel so high and mighty by doing a tiny bit of charity work and yap about consolidarity).

But these comparitive moments, re-assurances  and physical aspects of pleasure so not add up to your potential.When you consume food…your digestive system has evolved such that whatever is good for your body also tastes good(not all the time but mostly). like fire is bad for your skin so you feel pain. And certain chemicals are harmful you feel pungent smells/taste towards undesirable chemicals. So positive food consuming experiences shuld also help you get a good physique. With respect to sex(not just the physical pleasure aspect of it) is about connecting with someone and that counts as a full fledged experience that has both physical and intellectual components to it. Even experiences pertaining to accumulating wealth has an intellectual component associated with it(people in the Industry/ business verticals call it Experience..or knowledge accumulated from experience rather).

So when one compares with another to find out who the better individual is, the Intellectual/physical attributes gained and accumulated from experiences is what matters and not the experience itself. Some experiences add on to your inherent attributes and some dont.

There is a fine line in distinguishing experiences that pertain to human connections. The clicks in the Ad, are they just re-assurances???whereas things like short-term/long term relationships and intellectually connecting with people(be it of your the cool people/hipster crowd of a city, or connecting with fellow bloggers/intellectuals) have an accumulating intellectual/emotional component to it beyond re-assurances??

or do even the clicks have a minor component of intellectual connection just like a short term relationship and contributes to social skills/knowledge/memory(like how to appear smart or watever)?  if it does, it increase potential of the driver high compared to ranbir, as this guy has accumulated more of  expereinces/know how pertaining to human connections/social skills. But I would conclude that the driver has had more positive moments in life , whereas Ranbir has more inherent potential

EXPERIENCES: So every moment of your life/experience has 2 components to it 1)the feeling(positive/negative, pain/pleasure) and 2) a value add component – by which you get something out of it and gets added to and makes your personality/inherent potential. Actually the first  component also has a sub-component apart from the feeling , which is making your impact on things the same way they receive/gain something from the experiences. Some experience are high in some of the component and some are low.  Our objective is to have a good life..lot of positive feeling moments/moments of making your impact on other things. Actually the sole purpose of a life force is to survive and make an impact to the extent it can(refer second last para in this article). Although in many occassions, pleasure/positive feeling is associated with something that contributes to your survival and making impact – like eating good food,or dating a hot partner or being in a popular/ leadership position to impact a lot of people or important people,, pleasure always doesnt mean you have done impactful things or things learnt. For example if ur a drug addict or food addict to a point that you just eat and find pleasure but havent really positively contributed to you or impacted anyone or anything – in those cases the pleasure is not proportional to your impact on things and your ultimate purpose. However, most just try to anticipate and maximise the pleasurable moments in our life and the ones who truly understand things will try to maximise the impact they make in life. Apart from trying to maximise momentary pleasure, we should also aim to get the experiences that make us inherently better by virtue of which we can hope to have many positive moments in the future and thus make more of an impact. i mean it is not possible to figure out if every single pleasurable act for us leads to something impactful, so we just try to maximise our pleasurable moments in the best way. Not all pleasurable moments are impactful moments but all impactful moments are definitely a positive thing considering your lifes purpose..even though it might be painful. I mean this is why men have been driven to fight wars even though they know that it could kill them, they subconsciously know that there is an impact made.

I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to impact/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in some way.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence/have influenced people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also  our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.

Inherent Potential : Greatness Vs Fitness

I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across – wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.Also the effort and potential required to achieve Intelligence is higher than physical strength generally speaking in animal kingdom. However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering more life points / survival points)( unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits  and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor)  has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get and gives them the power to influence most things around them they need.

And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people. And like i said before,intellectual feat is better than a physical feat considerign the effort and potential required to achieve it

the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?

Value of a person = Integral over time and all components(looks,intellect,power etc)[ (Skill level/Potential) in that particular component *  Gradient of Survival agenda(factor deciding number of positive life points/moments) of that particular component]

The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the value of a politician or a suave artist is better as the value of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the valuel that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to influencing other people and scoring life points.

So an intellectual reasonably high achiever with no romantic connection has lesser(expereince/knowledge) value, compared to a person whose had the girlfriend/bf . A person whose had romantic relationships with many people/many different kinds of people/interesting and hip people  has more, than a person whose had romantic relationship just one or few or people who are the same or people who are not so hip…despite experiencing more positive moments romantically by having sex more number of times but with just the same partner.

But a person who has had romantic relationships, and has achieved high may be better than someone who is a casanova but hasnt really achieved anything else intellectually/ skill wise or other kinds of experience wise.

So to rephrase the above equation and its implication..when a person with past romantic relationships and swag compare himself with A person with lot of knowledge and less experiences and relationships, they compare themselves in 2 ways 1) Higher skill level / potential 2) Fitness(considering the positive moments gradient).

Regarding the positive moments – it has past and future components

1) Number of positive moments in the past(been there,done that)…the swag wins(becoz of the gradient factor and the number of times we compare each other based on, is higher for fun/relationships rather than intellectual)..but this does not affect their comparing each other to see who is gonna do well in future..although like i mentioned past experiences give one some good memories and know hows for future.

2) Number of positive moments in the future(which determines who is better/well equiped for the future when the compare themselves) depends on a careful analysis of whats required to get positive moment in the future…I mean lets say there is a group with swag/good looks and another with intelligence. The intelligent group can acquire wealth/power and thus consume healthy and become more good-lookin confident and get swag in the future( i mean for their offspring if we talk about really long term, or professionally if we talk about comparing high school youngsters and extrapolating their professional life and stuff). The same way the Currently good-looking swag group can also try to get smart and wise, and their good looks wont disappear but it will get transmitted in their genes as well for some generations.  The question is which is harder to get..good looks or intelligence and which is gonna get you more peace of mind or happiness or positive moments in the future. I mean if the intelligent continue to be intellgent and good looking continue to be good looking, even the future would favour the good looking, ideally speaking..but things can change.

Another factor for comparitive positive moments  is, are people gonna compare each other based on intelligence or looks?. I mean in a company its gonna be wit and in a club its gonna be looks. Although its not difficult to say people compare themselves more from a look/fun perspective than a wit perspective.This situation also determines which trait is gonna give them more positive moments.But this is just a sub-factor of the above criteria just like the fitness gradient to the positive moments, this is just the number of positive moments.

The person who is gonna have more positive moments overall — past + projected future is the better person in all circumstances

The important thing to realise is that ones past experiences thus doesnt stop with that individual but also includes his ancestors and associated group members and so does the future also extends to a person’s group and future offsprings. The projected positive moments of future thus depends on the ability to pass on a potential to the offsprings or related group. Genetic traits of look do pass on, but intelligence I guess depnds on nature(genetics) as well as nurture to a higher percent(refer articles related to classifying Intelligence).

So above is the first criteria of comparison..regarding who is gonna have more positive experiences. The second is simply who is better at skills. Its something like this….The potential of scoring chicks is a potential which may be 80 points (according to the difficulty in achieveng the looks,sophistication – all the physical and intellectual components behind it) that is if you were brad pitt. whereas the skill to be a reknowned String theorist or a public intellectual has 100 points, becoming the president has 90 points and so on. But the life points/positive moments gradient of scoring chicks is pretty high…lets say 60 , and the gradient points for being a physicist is low like say 40 . And climbing the everest..may be it has a difficulty level of 70, but its gradient point is low such as just 10.  The application of brain muscle is a lot harder and has more points than applying the physical muscle. Although a physicist has put a lot of effort in understanding high concepts in physics, a politician must have put a lot of intellectual effort in becoming popular and a president as well.

So to give a points estimate to each of the component wrt  Skill/Inherent potential(considering the genetic factor behind looks/intelligence) // Gradient for influencing people and having positive life moments – (not actual positive ife moments theyve had)

looks/Swag/ Class = 80// 60  (brad pitt). reg 60 I have mentioned why impressing girls/having a class or background, carry a lot of life points. And not all can be good looking.Swag actually means a combination of physical looks and a know how on being cool – in total giving it 80 points on a hypothetical scale used here. this translates as an effort of 80 points in the direction of looks will get you a score of 60 wrt positive life moments one can expect in the future.

Intelligence = 100 //40 (a quality physicist/public intellectual ).  reg 40 ..people who know they are intelligent also feel good about it from time to time and intelligence helps when you are dealing with people and Intelligence also plays a role in being engaging and attractive. To understand the advanced Physics and being able to comprehend the highest of logics, it requires a lot of brain effort. The intellectual effort to become a theoretical physicist or reasonable calibre thus requires more effort than the effort(intellectual and physical) needed to become swag,sophisticated and also including the genetically carried component for the effort your ancestors might have put in their time(even intelligence has a genetic component)

A record holding athlete/mountaineer = 70/30  .30 is associated with the benefits of athleticism and the temporary fame and benefits a star athlete might get. 70 coz I guess its not an easy thing to become an olympic medalist or a mountaineer who on occasions might have risked his life.

The president  = 90 //100 ….100 coz the millions of lives he gets to touch in small gradients.

So the theoretical physicist should feel superior to the player(and momentarily feel superior), but understand that the player is gonna have more positive moments overall.Of course the whole equation has to be integrated over time, considering the actual positive moments theyve had in the past and projected ones for future based on skill.And people have different scores for different components as well. Iron man has high scores in all components i guess. The scores regarding the difficulty to achieve a skill and the impact a particular skill can have  were just what i felt like — I guess it can be further analysed, explained and altercated – like explaining how Intellectual skill is more difficult to attain than physical strength and why it will be more influential, and the different orientation of Intellect (like science or wit or dating know how or style) or physical strenght and how each of them score wrt attainability and influencing positive moments.

If you have connected/discussed with noam chomsky/einstein a deep concept you thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). If youve impressed/connected and had sex with a hot and classy chick thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). Even without not getting to discuss with prominent physicist or intellectuals, you can sometimes know that you have the intellectual capability. But without ever having had sex or only getting to have sex lesser times with not so hot people, can you claim to be a swag guy???  this is where the above axe ad situation and the reasoning above can be used. the answer is yes. Ranbir has more swag and potential to attract women despite not having many clicks. You can be a swag guy stuck  in a prison somewhere and its only your bad luck and circumstances such as you conservative background that you lack the experience.

So now think of the girl/guy of your dreams. Why do we feel good about it if we all get our girl/guy of our dream? and why do we generally want them to be good looking/fun/wealthy/good/et etc ..the qualities we expect?

When we get the person of our dreams and experience being with them, you basically make an impact on them. When a single celled amoeba consumes a piece of organic material around, and gets bigger in size and then reproduces/splits into two – the end result of the whole process a piece of organic thing being converted into the form of an amoeba. So the life force present in the original amoeba, has impacted surrounding matter. So thats the only objective behind every life/matter and the force that makes make an impact someway on the medium around(it wud be a good thing to refer to my ‘The medium’ post). The only bad thing for a force is not make its impact on anything…or do something that ultimately leads to ceasing of its existence as an organism/ unit and its impact on anything . When organic/living things turn to dust,the stationary forces within the matter of dust doesnt get to make a lot of impact on surrounding objects, only living things do in comparison. Thus the existence of force as an alive organism is better than being trapped in a dead/lifeless object – i mean you gotta imagine this from the level of a basic force not from the point of an advanced being.

So coming back to having your hot partner, you have both made an impact as well as received impacts from them and shaped each other. Thats why its good. All those people at the top – rich,powerful,hot are all the ones that are making more of an impact in this world. people with power,money,creativity,kindness ..whether you can accept and imagine it or not will be able to make more of an impact.The same goes to hot people. Coz hot people somehow also tend to get to preferred and get to the top and influence the other impactful people. Maybe you can appreciate someone who can feed a 100 poor for a day or a month, but the CEO of a large corp defintley makes a bigger impact in this world overall. And thats why you are trying to maximise your impact by trying to being with those at the top and impacting them and being impacted by them.With a hot partner , you think you can have a hot kid – your creation who will be more impactful. So I guess now you’ll be able to understand the totality of wanting to be with hot/successful/impactful people.

In conclusion there are 3 ways to compare yourself with others

1) pure inherent potential level – by which a star athlete can even be on the higher side coz he has put in a lot of effort to acquire a some skill. But intelligence tends to have the highest points for of skill/potential – as mentioned in the scales above

2a) Experienced positive moments – It is the actual positive moments one experiences. generally guys with the swag factor tend to have more positive moments in life.

2b) Future positive moments (projected through your fitness for Life) – This takes into combination the skill level/inherent potential multiplied by a factor of fitness gradient. Chances are a really intelligent guy can score high on the fitness scales compared to a guy with swag. the more the fitness level – more forecasted future positive moments.

3) Actual Impact made : the impact made by the life force that makes up your cells, on the other living/non-living things in this world and shapes future events and things. This is the ultimate purpose of the life force within you . I mean the higher scores in 2a, probably higher here as well but not always the case like explained above. even an average guy can get to save the lives of a lot of people and be impactful and a hero/villain in this world.

I hope the above criteria will give you some clarity on sizing up yourself against people you meet and determining who is better or to find solutions to your dating/relationship anxieties. The one with the better life is not the one who has more talent or pleasure,which are just proxies, but the one whose made the most impact on people and things. So when you r in a mall or a public place and you see others with hotter girlfriends or act like they are classier or sophisticated, just think that they are fortunate in the looks aspect(which is a more important trait for survival ) and score high in aspect 2( pleasurable moments in life) whereas you – if you happen to be intelligent-a higher trait have more points in aspect 1(pure inherent potential).

Now the human/animal brain is not perfect..We are supposed to feel pleasure for the things that increases our survival and objective and feel pain for things that decreases our objective. However, take the case of drug addicts or people who eat too much food..or just the act of jacking off, people feel pleasure doing these but it does not necessarily mean that they have made a big impact or positively contributed to their objective through that particular act. The same pleasure is felt by someone who actually impregnates a partner and makes a big impact that way, compared to someone who is just doing it wearing a condom or just wacking off to porno.  So more pleasurable existence doesnt mean a more impactful existence. Although good looking people, or rather people higher in component 2 will make heads turn and have more chance of influencing people, really intelligent people have a chance of affecting a lot of people/lives in a big way by means of inventing something or becoming a leader/ public intellectual etc – and thus people with higher score in component 1 has a higher chance of making a really big impact on the world. In order to make an impact , it doesnt mean one has to mingle and keep socialising all the time with all the people. People also are selective in choosing their friends and circle coz they dont wanna waste their effort on someone who is easily impressed – coz with those people the impact you made on them will be short lived. Or if some one was to hang out with dumb or classless people, what they are and their confidence level decreases and has a negative impact on themselves. So people do exercise discretion, but sub-consciously its all about maximising your objective function – which is to make an impact.

Pre-marital sex – Good or Bad for our society?

AT this point im all for premarital sex, two timing, no marriage, and pretty fucking liberal. If you see my other blogs you wud’ve understood what i recommend for future generations including my children. But u r welcome to see my old thoughts on these as well.

Now wrt how to handle a nagging wife:

Its not just wives but in a fewer cases husbands too nag too. Fundamentally the problem is jealousy. Its never about contributing enough or doing things rite – naggin is 100% about jealous. One gets jealous coz u fel like you are loosing out on 100% of ur partners attention, 100% of their virginity,of their excitment. Its not just other flings of ur partner but even other things or even male friends of their husband that women get jealous about. They simply thingk they are entitles to 100% of their partners time and mind.
jealousy can even be at something else that takes up your partners time and mind. Hence wives are ocnstantly nagging about everything, that causes jealousy. they feel like they are entitled to 100 % of a partners time and mind.

The way to deal with this nagging is, you can be a repulsve person yourself so that they will try to get away from you.
It should feel like everytime you go home, it is you that expect something from them and not vice versa.

What you can do is that you go home and sit with them, without getting on to ur laptop or anything that is exciting to you. Go and be with them like a dumb fucking rock. They will try to run away from you if anything and stop the nagging. Dont be an interesting person, be a dull person. She will leave u alone, ur mother alone n ur father alone. You cant do the same stuff like watch ur fav game ot get on the laptop and do things u r interested in or get on netflix and expect her not to ruin it. You be with her and put the onus on her to entertain you. I mean you can just be laid back, not make an effort and watch her dumb serials and yeah you can get this thing done. You can have your phone in your hand though. I mean it can get borign for you yourlsef, but yeah try and be that if you see a long term problem with your wife and it seems like you can get out of this situation. Get her dumb boring gifts and be a pain, so that they can go and focus on children and other things. Do this for a while till the mindset changes.
But rnt u then driving up the wall to seek someone outside or away from marriage? – well, if u actually have the hots for ur wife, it would be u nagging her and not the other way around. If the wife is the nagging one, you would find another bf for her yourself. But if u suggest that, it will ruin it for her.

So be a dull person and act clingy towards her. it will go away. Dont try to make it an enjoyable time with your wife by telling her interesting things ever. Be a drag.Be quiet, be dumb, have less interesting things to say, so much so that she gets turned off everytime she sees you.

But i reckon this will not undermine true love. The love will be stronger, but expectations just die out, so less nagging. But i think women love and expect differently from men do. If relationship was a contract, women pay first and expect men to fulfill the needs later – metaphorically speaking. For them, giving consent for sex or marriage or being ina relationship is when they pay up front. In return they expect guys to keep them satisfied and do good for the period following. But most guys dont realise this and for them , the inital moment of consent is the peak and their interest from there on goes down, and many of them end up thinking,there has to be an equal give and take at all moments as the relationship progresses and when they think thats not happenign they think its a bad relationship. So, I would say, women, make you guy pay his dues before giving the consent ( like i mentioned to sex or relationship or to marriage). I mean if u just wanna have casual sex, thats fine. But dont ever feel like getting into a thing where it feels like you have paid upfront – with your consent and expect the guy to fulfill things till eternity. If this is not he case, feel free to ignore the above para.

For people who are just fooling around and its not real love or anything, and if you are the person who wants to be with your lover but your lover seems to be interested in other men/things? I would tell you to stop being possessive. If your partner wants to fuck someone else you have to let em. And you should try to fuck others.

You have to know that if you stay with the same partner, you loose out on more and you get no new excitement. And you bring down theirs as well.
So you can tolerate your partners two timing and find newer love and excitement yourself. This is easier if you are bored with your partner, but if you are in a good amout of excitement about someone in your life and they happen to two time, it takes a champion to figure out the best you can from that – which is to let them be. If you are in a marriage contract where u lose out if you try to find someone – too bad for you. I have already told you marriage doesnt make sense anymore.

————————————-Old draft————————————————–

‘Is everyone in chennai above the age of 16 married then?’ said one FB comment yesterday speaking of the Madras HC Judge equating pre-martial sex to marriage.

Really? all 16 year olds in chennai have had sex then(the implication there was that a very high percent ) ??these kinda moronic exaggerations give a wrong picture of the society and leaves the conservative majority wondering, whether their life is so pathetic that they dont seem to be getting the action themselves, are unaware the a lot of others are getting some action or that they are not even part of a circle where these things go on implying that they are at the bottom rung when it comes to these issues.

Do not go on with the supposed online survey of some condom companies who wan to project that there is more sex in this society to get the ball rolling for them. Mumbai’s International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS), a public health institute conducted this survey to include 55,000 males and females from about1.7 lakh households in states of Bihar, Jharkhand, Maharashtra, Rajasthan, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh, their ages ranging from 15 to 29
Statistical figures reveal that about 21 percent males(the kind like future lorry drivers) and 4 percent females from rural areas admitted to have had pre-marital sex against an urban figure of 11 percent males(including the ones going to those red-light areas) and 2 percent females. It only mentions sex, not if its penetrative or not.

Now to the question of is pre-marital sex and multiple partners good for the society and people overall?
I know the above link says pastoral and so its bound to be biased.but its only a literature review of other established reseachwork. And these studies indicate that in a society where ‘ do whatever one feels like’ attitude is present people will have multiple partners before marriage,however are also bound to have more affairs and divorces after marriage.. One does not even need documented works for this……any common man can make an observation that western societies with a liberal attitude is prone to more divorces and change of partners compared to conservative societies like south asia. It is Intellectual abdication to assume that people are gonna turn angels after marriage and that a person who gets in and out of relationships many times will have the same emotional attachment towards his/her partners as someone who doesnt. Just like how modern free thinkers reason out seeing no harm in having relationship with different people prior to marriage, people may reason out post-marriage too and claim that – they can be nice to their partners at home and they can be nice to other people when they are not with partners, as long as they can avoid cuckolding or things like physical/emotional unavailability. I mean people find pleasure in pushing norms and limits always…The liberal concepts of today will become conservative thinking of tomorrow and relationships will evolve into something like friendships and the family (let alone nuclear family) system will totally break down sometime in the future if our reasoning tends to be on ‘do what one feels like’ and liberal side. I dont think many liberals would accept the above argument and most times they resort to name calling and side track the debates.

When people feel like they should be able to do whatever one pleases it gives them license to be more aggressive in their pursuit of mates. More often than not the aggressive(nice guys finish last, the bad guy always gets the girl) gets rewarded unless all members are super mature about judging things and determining whats right. And also this liberty and do what one pleases attitude, will often result in people pushing the line and seeking out new relationships breaking of relationships/marriage even after having kids. This is more of a return to animalistic way of things/ though the other term for it is being natural (and not suppressing any instincts). Now western countries have matured a great deal in this and they have better standards of living with less wealth/status divide. But back home i dont think a lot of people are mature enough for this and this will encourage a lot of aggressive, asshole-ish behaviour..which can already be seen amongst a lot of the youngsters in the country.

I think that the main reason extra-marital affairs or pre-marital sex is a problem in the minds of many people is as follows.If you refer my next blog, i wudve have explained how the main purpose of any life force is to make an impact on other things. Humans definitely feel motivated to acquire more power,riches, do good, make babies, do something because they constantly seek to make an impact on others and other things and thus preserve themselves through the impact they make…either through their offsprings or through a monument they built or by being the president or CEO or something. So more than cuckold or lack of emotional availability, we want our partners to be a clean slate/marble give to us for us to make our impact on. I mean you also make an impact on others as friends/parents etc, but an impact on someone as a soul mate/lover is something more deep. If someone else is also making designs in your slate/marble, or your slate already had designs when it was give to you, it is not the same i guess. I mean when we were in school we were given clean slates and note books, I wonder what would have happened if we had to compete for those note books – some people would have gotten more pages and get to make their design on a lot of the pages whereas some dont get any pages to make their designs with. Of course humans are not slates or marbles, but if you can understand that all of want to touch and make an impact on as many people as will get the analogy i suppose. This is also the basis for other conflicts like people getting pissed off about English overtaking and patronising foreign ideas. A human would speak an average of x amount of words in his life. If you are a tamil patroit, you would want that person to speak in tamil mostly and will get pissed off if the other guy is speaking mostly in english instead of tamil. So the same way, you want your partner to be thinking about you most of the time rather than a number of other people. I mean even if you know that your best friend had gone out with some other guy when you were out of station, there will be a slight element of jealousy and this is not just confined to your marital partners.

Having said this I am not a conservative guy and in fact i think that India/Chennai should be a more liberal society with prevalence of pre-marital sex. I believe that really mature people should be able to put themselves in each others shoes and find out whats gonna be the best thing to do..pre or post marriage. I mean, everyone gets tempted and if indeed they happen to seek a relation with someone else…you should have the mindset and maturity to be the best judge of the situation. You should be in a position to evaluate if that person will still be commited( a married partner has to be much more commited) to you and value your relationship at an adequate level or if indeed the person is someone who is not a very considerate person. So one has to confront the person incase of an affair and have to make this judgement. This ability to judge a person correctly comes from your past experiences and from how life teaches you to about people generally..and if you do not have this, you will probably not make the wrong decision when things dont go according to your plan. I also think open marriages can very well work, if both the partners involved are wise/mature enough to understand and judge each other and the situation well enough. You cant go to online forums or anything to find a rule book or an answer, but you have to analyse your own situation and and decide the best . The above is in regards to how to deal with problems in liberal societies, to the question of why we need liberal norms – the norm of the societies are there just to work out whats the good for the society, and in this day and age i believe conservativeness causes more pain to people than liberal attitude..let me explain below.

The Dove-Hawk modeling can also be applied here.. Briefly, it implies hawks are more aggressive in pursuit of their self-interest and doves are not aggressive. And The dove population(read as society) can sustain itself within less confrontation within, whereas the hawk population has a lot of confrontations and swings like a sine wave within an ecosystem and is bound to go extinct and not survive if there are resource shortages or other influences within the eco system.

So the aggressive(do whatever one pleases without fully considering larger consequences) pursuit of self-interest is a more primitve/animalistic trait and a conservative nature is more evolved/human. No wonder many religions and human institutions preach conservativeness..and human evolved into being conservative from being aggressive and not the other way around. So conservativeness is not Stupidity/victorian/primitive thinking like those liberals call it to be. It is the contrary.

However, If within the same environment you bring Both the doves and hawks, The aggressive hawks have an advantage and will emerge the winners( game theoretically not making this up).

In a way this is analogous to the capitalism vs communism. In liberal societies, not all males/females in a society have equal potential when it comes to impressing people, and the rich in love keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poor( your right i took this line from ‘enemy at the gates

Jude law is the rich guy and the other is the poor one). Although there is more Loving in the liberal societies, there are hug differences in the love that people get and there is a lot of jealousy and resentment that way. In a traditional/conservative society most people just get 1 partner and so not many are jealous of others and feel like they are terribly below the others.

So in closed societies , our culture/conservative values are good and it works. but in this day of Globalisation we are exposed and encounter other cultures. Despite their problems, when we see people having fun in other places(like watching Hollywood/bollywood or even travelling and living in their places or if we see them in our cities ) we are tempted and we think that even we should be able to have fun like them.

Just assuming thatIn a conservative society maybe there are 20% people getting laid and the rest are losers who wait till they get married. In a Liberal society there are 80% who are getting laid and 20% are losers. Which society would you rather be a loser in ??? If you are a failure, would you rather the majority also fails or would you be okay with the fact the you are one of the few who is a failure and therefore assured that you are a distinct bottom of the pile?

The natural tendency is to prefer be a loser where 80 % of the society is also a loser,where you think most others are just like you. other wise you just feel miserable to see everyone else having fun around you but not you.

But the other way one can look at is that, if 80 % are able to have sex, it really isnt that big of a deal. In a conservative society, those players and rich ones who get laid feel even more superior and elitist to the remaining 80%. And moreover, if you society/group of people/..for eg lets say Tamils are know to be conservative losers in the eyes of Others, thats also an issue. These are times of GLobalisation and we have to adjust our strategy accordingly… I’d rather 80% of tamils have a good healthy sex life than just 20%.

Q)But if conservativenss is a good/better system, arent we supposed to try to make it the system of the world and not adopt the bad system?
Well you can try to fight for what you think is good…but only if you are on top/well off/have the resources/ everybody else is looking towards you to lead in aspects of culture and stuff. Unfortunately its not us Tamils Now. West is the dominant economic and cultural power not and everyone else is ksiing upto them..It will be easy for them to promote their liberal views and it will be exponentially harder for us to strive for the propogation of Conservative attitude. Infact Indians,south india/TN is particular became even more/ultra conservative only because of the cultural influence of the ruling british and the propogation of ideas of Church during the victorian era(cxtianity and its cultural influence tied up with the dravidian movement had much higher success in the south than north) . Even until recent times, you can observe that in remote rural there is a prevalence of relationship/pregnencies before marriage at a younger age of 15/16..of girls/people belonging to average backgrounds. Only the Urbanised and upper/ middle classes & among the christians do we find extreme conservative attitude in TN/South . So lets just change our stratgey and acquire a positive/fun/hot perception in the eyes of others. Who knows if people in TN start trying to be more playful and fun , we might also get cuter and more neotenous faces and heroines amongst us…cox your personality and behaviour shapes your thought/face and body chemistry over generations amounts to significant change in appearances.

Dating/getting into relationships and sex are kinda the biggest things in the world. So if you havent done it and when you get to know that a lot of others have done that these, you feel like you have a serious lack of experience and knowledge pertaining to life. You kinda feel like you are much below than someone who has gotten these experiences – if you measure yourself against othters based on what one has( wealth,looks,experiences,knowledge, interesting/good circle and life etc). However, just realise that a lot of things/luck come into play like where you are brougth up, your background, the kinda people you can connect to etc etc. So you were just unlucky to not acquire these experiences, not always because that the others are inherently better than you or even smarter than you.

Just like Flirting/sex is a pleasure/positive experience input to your brain/yourself,

acquiring knowledge, unique things youve done/experienced, realisation that you are better than someone in some aspect,being rewarded ,being proud/happy about yourself, etc etc are all expereinces(positive or negative) as well that you have. People constantly and subconsciously size each other up and determine if someone is better than them , below them or almost at the same level(chankaya has also said something about this but dont wanna get into that). And they size each other up using the above factors,experiences.. For instance everything else being similar A guy who has knowledge highly intellectual stuff will feel much more confident/superior in front of another who doesnt.

But not all experience has the same weigthtage ..if someone says he has skied somehwere and that it was a great doesnt really make me jealous because it is not highly relevant or important to me. I might feel great about playing in the same table as barry greenstein in borgata. But like I said before, the greatest,most important experience is in connecting with someone romantically/sexually and if you have had many such interesting and good experiences….you are living a very good life that an animal/human/organism can hope for. It takes much , much higher intelllectual accomplishment(like wining a nobel prize or being recognised as the number 1 intellectual of our times ) to beat the positive experience of someone like the casanova or such players..especially if you do not havent been able to impress anyone of a good caliber of attractiveness feel like you are better than them. i think 1 out of may be a million times can a romantically challenged person feel confident/superior to a player with respect the the good life/positive experiences they have had.

The reason for Intelligence weighing lower than sexual attractivenss is this. Everything we do, we do with the aim of preserving ourselves..thats why we eat , thats why we reproduce. Theres a theory in the scientific community that says that Human intelligence evolved Mainly because of the need to mate. So it is important for you to be intelligent/talented/rich etc etc only to be able to find mates (everyone can get good food easily). So knowing that you are fuckable reassures ur fitness level as a successful(able to pass on genes and survive)species more than knowing that you are intelligent or can climb the mount everest or whatever. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to touch/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in someway. For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick. It also doesnt mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are aslo important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.I mean I have dealt with why preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or dennis ritchie. So for the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat.

Good thing is many people can have many sexual experiences , but not many people can be nobel laureates and hence intelligence makes you more unique. I mean it doesnt require as much skill/potential to be sexually attractive person as comapred to being a Scientist or a Champion athlete..But still because of the relevence to lifes objective, it is more important to be fuckable than Intelligent and experiences pertaining to sex ar more important than experiences pertaining to other achievements. Unfortunately for us, most south indians, chennaiites are in the romantically challenged category and we burn with jealousy upon seeing fun having whites/ north indians. I mean north indians are the hottest and since they are also liberal consequently become the most fun people on the planet. South indians are so close to them yet so far away from them in the aspect of fun. To explore further on the differences , read my other blogs.

I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to touch/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in someway. For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.

Greatness Vs Fitness

I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across ..wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering morelife points / survival points)(at have unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor) has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get.

And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people.

the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?

Value = Integral[ (Skill/Potential) * Gradient of Survival agenda ]

The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the inherent potential of a politician or a suave artist is better as the intellectual potential of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the inherent potential that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to scoring life points.

So chennai, change you conservative/mature behaviour or you will continue to feel miserable in this globalised world

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑