Intelligence makes you a better person than charm. Coz with charm the most you can do is try to make a thousand babies. But with intelligence – you can be much more impactful and make or create a million humans and go on to do other things. If you are wondering why its important to make an impact – read my impact theory/purpose of life blog – where i go on to establish how at a level below nihilism the purpose of all existence is to make an impact. So there are 3 things in contention 1) Impact potential, 2) pleasure potential and 3) happiness potential. When we make an impact or do perceivably impactful things we derive pleasure out of it(our brains have become that way). ANd if we keep having a lot of pleasurable/positive moments we have a higher happiness potential in life. From a nihilistic perspective – happiness potential is what counts the most, and from the perspective of being an impactful person, impact potential is what counts. But more impact does not mean more pleasure or happiness potential. Trump is not the most happiest person in the world right now, but generally impactful/accomplished people do those things to feel more happier.
If man was a primitive animal – the most impactful thing he could do is make another human. Thats why the mating,flirting,romance associated with this is more pleasurable.
But like I said, the modern man is more impactful when he creates technology and does other brainy impactful things. But still we get more pleasure out of mating/romance etc rather than writing a piece of code that works – theres the inefficiency of an imperfect brain. So if you are a nerd you have more impact potential but less pleasure potential cuz ur not good with women. But when it comes to happiness, what is it? Now a pornstar or a prositute is not the happiest person either even though they get a lot more pleasure and they have been popular. Happiness potential can be high for people who know the right things and are philosophical and even(not necessarily) impactful. So nerds – you can be happier than the jocks at school and be proud of how you are better/happier than them. But if you are a virgin for life and you dont have a partner that you wished for and you are stuck with a wife with whom you have to spend the rest fo yourlife with – you begin to wonder have i missed out a big deal by not experiencing true romance, passion etc. Well Im here to tell you that porn is the great equaliser. yes, it may not be the same as real thing but atleast its 50% as good as the pleasure of real passionate connection. If you can from time to time get a good GFE escort that may be more than 50% of what the real deal is. So even if you have never experienced true passion/romance, its okay, you still do have some pleasure potential. You do not have to roam around with a hot chick to walk proud in front of others. You can be lonely or stuck with average looking people, but if you have the right philosophy you can have a high happiness potential and you can walk around like you are the best. Now this is easier said than done. Its good to have a hot spouse reminding you of how cool and higher up in the societal ranks you are wrt impact,pleasure or happiness potential. But even if you are alone you can think about these things ( how philoshophical, impactful you are and hence of a higher happiness potential you are) and be happy. The problem, is when you see a hot couple on the road and you feel a bit rattled/jealous. For that moment, you need to think about how generating a very intellectual thought is more thrilling than the flirting experience you get and hence you have had more exciting moments in life than the guys with hot girlfriends. They dont get to flirt all day around with the same girl with the same excitation. That excitation decreases. So just like a thinker, even they experience high excitation moments only occasionally and not all the time. So as a thinker your life can be very exciting/pleasurable too than the lifes of people with hot girlfriends. Thinkers seek a lot of knowledge and everytime they do they get excited from TV,YT, documentaries, debates, reading etc etc . This is a lot of exciting moments compared to someone who does not get those Intelligent stuff and who only seek simpler things and may be are successful in acquiring some relationships. The thing is – we dont see these things as as important compared to sex. This is why free time and not working 10 or 12 hours a day is important – where you have a lot of free time to do things that excite you.Yes the dopamine may be more in sex, but our excitations here and there may add up to more pleasure overall. Maybe if you have created/invented stuff thats very cool, you would have realised that the excitation via intelligent stuff may be more than with sex. We just have to look at intelligence stuff as nearly as pleasurable as flirting n sex and stop giving so much importance to sex n flirting n stuff. When you see a hot couple next time think about this – that your life is probably more exciting than theirs because generating an intellectual thought is more exciting,pleasurable than flirting.
In the end, I think most people more or less have almost the same amount of dopamine rush in their life. If you are totally green, you get a dopamine rush for even the smallest of things, and if you are so used to something, the dopamine response for the same is reduced. So whether ur source of dopamine is sex or science or drugs or music or whatever – it all balances out and ultimately a healthy you have nearly the same pleasure as that of any rockstar (jaded or otherwise). But happiness potential – people’s happiness levels can vary a lot depending on what happens to them and their mindset. And an intelligent person is likely to be more happy. So being intelligent makes you better than being sexy – impact wise, happiness wise and excitation/pleasure wise.
So the only thing left to do is to carry the confidence at all times, a confidence thats gonna trump the confidence of others – esp the confidence that dumb but marginally good looking people seem to have mostly. To carry this at all times you gotta realise intelligence makes you better and thus be happy and confident all the time. Intelligence definitely makes for better impact & happiness potential, not sure about pleasure potential, but still this should inspire confidence in you and make you more confident than a person who is good looking hooking up with a partner in a situation.
Mostly they will get the better of the situation, but you are gonna reflect upon it and think about how intelligence most definitely has a better happpiness potential and so you are gonna enjoy more upon that reflection. Your life is gonna be better than theirs in actual, so let them have their moment. You can try to put up a confident face at that time, but recover if you dont succeed in rattling them.
In this situation keep focusing on how intelligence is most definitely gonna lead to a happier life and hence that moment was a positive moment because you were able to reflect on that. This is similar to how if you see a noticeable couple and you think I have had a better girl you automatically feel up. Instead of a better girl and pleasurable moment, you have intelligence and better life. I mean thinking about how intelligence is better than romancecan come later, but at that moment – try to have the below strategy. Tyrying to put up a conifdent face – best strategy is to think of the situation where you have made a girl feel nervous – that feeling,that demeanour , that confidence you had in that moment you can try to have that in your face. By thinking about that – you can bring the right demeanour with confidence in your face instead of coming across like a pathetic stare.
So things to remember here are :
- Its okay you feel different when you look at attractive people. You can still very well be better than them
- At the moment try to put up a confident face – by thinking about how you have made someone nervous and , trying to have the same demeanour n confidence at that instant – actually u know what, dont think too much about this. Do what comes to you naturally – whatever demeanour you put up if you think you are better than the other – others who you think are a competition to you. Whatever demeanour you put, they can sense that you are trying to act like you are better and will think that you think you are better. This is better coz of the time constraint. In situation where you have more time, you can bring in various thoughts and act that way. In short situations – put up the demeanour with the attitude that comes easily to you. Actually 0-5 seconds cant do anything. 5 – 15 seconds – can have that snobbish look – that comes a bit naturally. above 15 secs, gotta get ur confident look by then. SNbbish look indicates you are a bit jealous but still you think u can be a rival to their status. But the confident look wil truely rattel them. But you can aim to get than confident look ater only 15 or 20 seconds of time. So dont be disappointed if you dont have enough time to bring that up confidence frequently. If you bring the snobbish look, thats good enough in most scenarios longer than 5 or 6 seconds
- Later, think about how ur life is better than theirs because of you .intelligence/impact n happiness potential
Now a bit about how to act in front of attractive people that u see. Like I said it all about making the right moves – moves that indicate your impact potential, within the area of fun/cool things pertaining to mating.When you are walking in a public places – deep down what everyone whats to do is to make an impact on the other somehow. There are several scenarios to this. Someone who wants nothing to do with ones below them will refrain from making any moves coz they simply want to avoid them. But someone who feels inferior to the other also refrains from making any moves coz they wanna save any pain from confrontation.In the former case, it would be like – Im big enough so that the other one is not able to make any impact one me, in another scenario – the better person wants to come across like he is big enough that he is confidently making my move infront of the other, while the other isnt making any move. Even in the former scenario – by not making any moves/staying indifferent to the efforts of someone else, one is trying to send across a message that they are better than the other and thus make an impact on them. So what should you do? Obviously if u think the other is attractive, u gotta make positive moves, coz if u act otherwise – u r just kidding urself – people can sense you are acting like u r better without a proper reason and that u r truely not confident about urself. But in some cases u need to have an attitude too which is explained below. Even with someone who u think is marginaly attractive and that u r better than them, u still want to make an impact on them. So the fact that u r trying to make an impact on them doesnt mean that they r superior to you. So, For the first 2 to 3 seconds u see an atractive girl/guy you just stare at their beauty, for the next 2 to 3 seconds you still stare thinking how better than u they r wrt beauty/fun stuff. Right there they have already made an impact on you, but you are yet to make an impact on them and at this point they are the ones superior to you hence. You generally cant do much about that, but recover after some 6 or 7 seconds and realise how impactful and superior you are in comparison to them or the guy/girl hitting them. ( if you are a nihiilist, your life is also better than theirs). And now after the 7 seconds, have an attitude in your face — which they might note — and which might shake them up and leave them wondering how eaxctly does this person think they are better than them. If they see that attitude in your face ( attitude with a real reason and not just fake attitude without proper reason) they will be shaken n wondering and thats all the impact that you can hope to make. Somewhere in my blogs or vlogs ive mentioned why Intelligence is more impactful than looks- cos the most attractive guy can only bring about some 10000 kids at absoulte max with his charming ability. A person of intelligence can make or wipe out billions of lifes and influence billions of lives(example the guy who figured how to trap nitrogen to make ammonia). So attitude with a real reason is important, and when u have this true confidence and attitude with a real reason, all you have to do is to have a demeanour that indicates you will be willing to make playful/fun move for the others — which they might sense and reciprocate leading to positive relations. Even people who know you are better than them will be genuinely nice( make fun,positive moves towards you). They simply accept u r better and just hope that they can impact you in some ways. Only problem is , they get let down by people who think they are better and sometimes they start to care about being superior to others. But mostly people just stare and walk past so you just have to indicate that you think you are better than them, not try to come across as friendly. Only in the case that you think that the other person respects you and thinks you are impactful and wants to connect with you, you change your demeanor to being friendly, till then “im holier than thou” attitude will do just fine while you are walking by and seeing people who think they are up there.
Now only 2 kinds of people have it easy and have the natural confidence 1) people with good looks(pleasure potential) and 2 ) people who are the elite/sophisticated(impact potential)- in india people who talk in english all the time and act not so much like a typical indian but an hybrid-westernish person. 1 st category instantly know that they are being looked at when they walk in a public place, 2nd category – They belong to a elite circle and can instantaneously classify the surrounding crowd as below them and hence they get that confidence instantly. These hybrid coconuts however feel inferior to foreigners when walking amongst them.
Now you will notice these types and stare at them for a while – you cant help that. many pretend to not notice them but still both parties know who feels they are superior and inferior. Now if you are someone that doesn not have looks or do not belong to an elite crowd, but still upon reflection you know you are a better/having more impactful person, this is how it has to be. For the first 4 or 5 seconds you simply stare at them admiring/noticing/analyzing their goods. But what you have to do is think about how you are the better/more impactful person and find true confidence and superiority about yourself – almost like you are ready for a confrontation with them with confidence. However you cant just be mean all the time, you may also have to try and befriend them for either romantic or other kinds of association. So words that have to go through your mind is ” I M BETTER THAN YOU , BUT I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY/DEAL WITH YOU” With this attitude in your head you can also establish your supremacy but also open up your chances of impacting them positively/mutually. If you r truely intelligent and have a better impact potential , you as a south indian also belong to the most successful group on earth and this have a good background – if you wanna know how, you gotta check out my other blogs n youtube channel videos.So there are plenty of reasons for you to feel superior to the coconuts or the ones blessed with hotness. But keep reading the older draft of this – where ive discussed some stuff in detail.
But only from one perspective ‘making an impact’ is the ultimate thing in life and your impact potential is what makes you better or worse than the other. But from the
perspective of a number of other schools of thought – say for example nihilism or buddhism, what matters most is happiness. ANd now there’s 3 things in contention –
Impact potential, pleasure potential and Happiness potential. Although from this perspective pleasure trumps impact, it doenst mean that one who has the most
pleasurable life is the most happiest. One can have a better happiness potential based on their philosophy or other virtues. So Eiher by impact potential or happiness
potential, intelligent ones can have the confidence that they are better than the charming ones who seem to have all the worldy pleasures happen for them.
So final takewaway is – u just have to have a proper reason to believe in your superiority n not fake it and whether u choose to have an attitude or try to be friendly depends on the situation. But its not that you always compare urself with people u see. When you see a noticeable person your mind either starts thinking whether they are better than you or not, or , thinks about whether you can be with them or atleast u are with a group of people like or better than them . This blog has thus far already dealt with how you go about comparing urself and feeling better. But sometimes, you feel like why cant you be with that person even though you may feel like u r better than them. If you feel that way , i think what one has to do is think about how your life is still better/happier than someone who gets to have them in their life. Better/Happier coz of ur happiness potential – owing to your better philosophy. The moment you see a person like that should instantaneously turn into a moment of reflection of how better ur life is, or simply just enjoy admiring them knowing that ur life is better and feeling good at the end of it. If you do this quick enough you come across as someone with potential.Even if you dont do it quick enough, end of it you should process everything and get feeling good – either coz of ur reflection of your betterness or coz of getting to see an attractive person and getting turned on for some moment. Bu the above is just so that you start feeling good, and you still have to make an impact when ur out in front of others – somehow its not enough if u just feel good abt yourself. So to make an impact, you have to get ur confidence as soon as possible and indicate the passers by that you think you are better than them, that will shake them up – which is ur impact on them. For this, whenever u go out in the public, you can be ready for it and carry an attitude all the time. You know what im saying – some people whenever they are in public – always walk around with an attitude. If you cant always walk around with an attitude, you should atleast be able to generate that attitude/confidence at the quickest. you should simply try to have an attitude most of the time ” thinking that im better than most people coz i have a better philosophy in life, and this philosophy beats looks,power,money,sophistication & other pleasures”. If you cant have that attitude all the time – just the ability to get the confidence quickly. As a strategy you can try to have an attitude when u walk past too many people in a mall or something where you dont have enough time. but in a place where you are with people over a period of time, you can stay relaxed and take your time to display your attitude and make an impact.In situations when you are generally relaxed suddenly come across attractive people where you dont even have enough time to make an impact( say for example you are going in a car and you see someone attractive walk past)- thats the tricky one – you dont get to make an impact as in most of the limited moments you have – you are just staring them processing their attractiveness. There is an urge for you to make an impact on them coz after you make an impact you are happier. But the whole point of trying to make an impact is just to be happy, so even if you dont make an impact ( by making them notice you) you can reflect about how you are better than them and feel happy about it. You can just do your best to make an impact there, but its hard to switch quickly – so just know that its okay that you didnt get to show ur attitude to them. It is the attractive and the elite ones that get to make the impact in those situations mostly.You can only try to get ur confidence asap and make them notice. Most of the time you wont even be in a position where they can notice you and so its hard for you to make an impact. But if they dont notice you, it means that they dont realise the impact theyve made on you and hence you dont have to feel like youve let someone else make an and impact on you without you being able to do the same on them – so its okay, you dont have to feel down about not being able to make an impact on them. Just know that if you get to confront them one on one you will be able to get the better ( assuming that you are confident about your impact & happiness potential). In the case that they do notice you noticing them, you have a chance to make them realise ur confidence – even if its only a fraction of a second. So be prepared for that fraction of a moment – if you see someone attractive walking past but you dont know if they will notice you or not, be prepared for it anyway and bring that attitude in ur face – for if they notice ur confidence, u would have made an impact on them.Actually the moment you stare – it doesnt indicate whether you feel confident or not – its the way you follow through after you notice/stare at them that tells whether you think you are better than them or not. Simply staring at others doesnt come across as you thinking they are better – your follow up demeanour does. So a short stare and a quick follow up with a better demeanour is the way. And after you have walked past you can think about what would happen if you interact with them and if you feel that you are superior to them you will be happy in your head.
Actually we still havent adequately explained how the sophisticated and good looking people feel confident all the time. They dont constantly asses every single moment their surroundings – it is done very subconsciously they get a feel /estimate the surrounding and carry with them their confidence most of the time. So when they carry the confidence around, even if they stare at you in some instances, it doesnt come across as someone beneath you is staring at you. Unfortunately if you are not good looking or a of a sophisticated circle, you cannot get that feel constantly. These people have the confidence all along the time they look at you, but you may need to generate it and takes time for you and so it doesnt come to you naturally if you are not that category. They have this confidence naturally because in their heads they are thinking about stuff/people in their life who all belong to an upper circle with confidence and act accordingly.These people are used to dealing with people of that circle who are confident and so in their heads its mostly these confident people and they mostly have a demenour that exhibits confidence since they are also part of that circle.Its not even like they are assessing each and everyone they come across, they can feel confident in most environments and even when they come across someone of calibre, they do not have to change their demeanour so much since they already have such high calibre people in their heads. They notice others only if they have a potential(higher) than what people in their circle/heads like looks or sophistication. If not they dont even notice the ones they walk past – they do this pretty fast too cuz if they are used to pretty/sophisticated faces, not many can grab their attention unless they have higher potential. It is easy for good looking, well dressed people to hence grab attention in public places rather than intelligent people with actual high happiness potential. When you notice someone it means they have some higher potential(happiness/pleasure/impact) than the people of your circle- the ones whom you r accustomed to. And when u notice them you spend around 3 seconds noticing/analysing them -and this comes across as they are better than you. But you have to feel more confident after you are done analysing that you are better than them. dont think that ur life would be better if you are with them rather than the current people in your life, but you should think that your life is better than theirs whenever you come across people that have the potential. When i came back after living in australia for 4 years, i carried that confidence and now its declined. I have confidence in some settings. Actually even if you are hot stuff yourself, if you havent seen as many good looking people before – you stare. You just have to have been in a cirlce/atmosphere where you see good looking people most of that time – in which case you dont stare too much at someone good looking and can quickly display a confidence. But if you are not from that background – you begin to stare more. So its just who you see/hang out/belong with most of the time that affects whether you stare at people for long or not and how qucikly you can bring your confidence. If your friends circle/background is average you will be staring at people for a longer time and cant bring up ur confidence quickly – even though you maybe of a higher impact or happiness potential. It all just depends on your background. So send ur kids to good schools. So think about it, you have definitely seen hot people but ones who u know instantly are below you status wise and so you look at them with confidence almost instantly. Only if you are not from a elite background you start ogling at someone attractive for sometime before you recover from your ogling and start to pose with confidence. This person just have to be at your status or maybe slightly higher than the crowd you generally hang out with for you to feel this way ( shaken at first, but able to recover later).People only have to be slightly better than the status of people who ur used to seeing everyday for you to feel that way – its not necessary that it makes you below them.You always walk around with a feeling -anticipating dealing with people of a certain status/range. If someone who is beyond that(either in pleasure potential or happiness/impact potential or with a higher status) shows up -which you were not anticipating…you have to change your mindset – the way you carry yourself and all that to deal with them. Thats requires sometime – you cant change much about it. Thats why its better if you belong to a elite background – you just feel confident in most times and scenarios and since your strategy/mindet is already wrt dealing with elite people in mind, you can instantaneously feel better than most people you see . This also gives people the impression that you are as good as the circle you belong to – but this is not true you can be of a much higher happiness potential than the family you are born into or the friend’s circle you get. South Indians/tamils in general are of low happiness/pleasure & impact potential generally and so you as a tamil will look at northies with awe on occasions when you see them. But like i said, watch my other blogs and realise that you are of better impact/happiness potential. And when you realise that you are better than the attractive person in front of you – you just have to look at them with a confidence – “im better than you but id like to deal with you” confidence and look at them with comfort/a sense of superiority / without any insecurity – as if you were looking at a hot girl but from a naive background. In real life, you dont have time to think of all the reasons why you are better, so just know that you are of a better potential from the top of the head. Just start looking at them with a confidence. The only thing that you realize is that they are better than your cirlce, but quickly realise that they are not better than you.So just instantaneously look at them with confidence as if you would look at a person who is attractive but not as much an impact/coolness potential as you. White people carry this feeling all the time with other races .And there is an hierarchy among races. Indians feel this confidence over mongoloids and Negroids, but not so much with other caucasians. So dont even think, just look at people with confidence in most situations – you can work out later how you personally are better and that they might just be better/attractive than the people you regulary see.Its actually not even status or anything, we tend to notice people who are ultimately higher at happiness potential (not the fake happiness potential like most moral do gooders). We are evaluating happiness potential of people in our surroundings and the minute someone with a formidable potential comes, we need to adjust our strategy and so it takes time for that. If you are from a circle/background where people are of a higher happiness potential, your adjustment is limited as you are already walking around with an mindset/stratgey that fits into to those. If not, you have to raise your game and get your confidence as soon a possible and get that ” im better than you but i still wanna deal with you” demeanor indicating your confidence/happiness potential. And happiness potential roughly is a factor of looks and sophistication after all. And when i say adjust your strategy – it doesnt mean falsely believing you have a better happiness potential – its just that these “attractive” people have a higher potential than the regular people in your life and so you have to change your demeanor accordingly. Either the people you see are below or above the average potential of your cirlce. For the ones adjudged below – there is no adjustment needed as, as per your natural instincts you dont really want anything from them. For the ones above your background( not you necessarily but your background), your natural instincts are to do something about it and want to do something with them. Thats why you feel like you should do something about them. But the fact that you wanna do something with them doesnt mean they are above you – it just means they have something to offer that can enhance your life experience than what you have currently- like the people in your circle / background. It may also be the case that you can offer or enrich their life way more that what they can offer you with your impact/pleasure/happiness potential, but still you’d be interested in them. So its okay and natural that for the ones above your feel/approach has to be different than the regular people. You need to bring up your confidence in those cases and display them in your demeanour, dont go feeling insecure. I mean you may become insecure if you dont have reasons to believe that you are of a higher potential . But the point here is, you dont have to wonder why you feel like acting differently with some people especially attractive/high potential people. I have, for the longest time wondered why people act differently with different people and that its bad to act that way. But now i guess the above points justfy the difference in our feeling wrt diff category of people. Regarding that “wanting to do something about them” part – you just have to get ready to engage with you confidence ( true confidence which comes naturally with proper reasons)- the feeling which you can skip with normal people. Actually need to continue on here…Theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you know are below you. And theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you are not sure if they are too good for you meaning – they are of a higher potential than you.But if you are not sure if they are too good for you, it is only a reflection of the people who are in your circle/background mostly. You may be still be better than them individually coz of ur philosophy/coolness/happiness potential etc.The logic ive been telling before applies here, its mostly just about your background if you feel you may not be good enough for certain people. If you are philosophically sound, you are a cool person with a great happiness potential and so you be proud of yourself and feel better than most people you see.
So the kinds of people there are are
- people who you wanna have nothing to do with
- people who you wanna do something to with – but know you are better than them
- people who you wanna do something to with – but they are higher than the background/professional/friends circle you belong to but not better than you
- people who you wanna do something to with – they are better than your circle, and they maybe better than you if you dont have enough happiness potential. Hopefully you dont feel this way about anyone and you are truely cool/of a higher happiness potential than anyone else you come across in person, owing to your better philosophy.
Since from a nihilistic point of view, being happy is the ultimate aim of life ( & even from buddhist & bhagwath gita point of view) people who seem happiest/upbeat/confident in any place/environment r themost suprior people in that environment. Not fake happy but real happy about who they are and their impact potential or pleasure potential or their happiness potential.
To Summarise :
South indians and tamils especially have a high intelligence and thus impact potential and hence can also have high happiness potential if they have the right attitude/philosophy/confidence despite not having a great pleasure potential.
When you walk around and deal with others – only the ones who belong to a family/friends circle with a high potential(looks,sophistication etc) will be able to maintain a cool demeanour by not having to stare at people who they come across – this is because they already have high potential people in their lives and heads all the time and already have a strategy/demeanour thats appropriate to deal with them. The others will for atleast 2 to 3 seconds notice and stare and analyse people with potential that they come across. So you can still be a 5 but not belong to an elite circle and hence end up staring at people in places, but it does not mean that the ones who you are staring at is better than you. We always subconsciously try to make an impact on people we see to self assure and to derive pleasure out of – for example by making people notice us (for good reasons). However, if you are a 5 but belong to a circle of 1’s you will end up staring at 2’s n 3’s n 4’s and so in a 2 to 3 second game where you only notice each other for 2 to 3 seconds before you walk past – you will not be able to win( make an impact) . This is inevitable because the human instinct is to analyse something worthwhile that they come across and it will see how to make an impact on them. So one starts to think about how to deal with them to make an impact on them for sometime – may be 4 to 5 seconds takes up this time and so during this time you cannot change your demeanour that faster to indicate that you think you are better. Only if your engagement can be longer for upto 7 or 8 seconds, after staring you can think about how you are better than them and then you can display ur confidence – which will make them wonder why you think you are better( apparant from the confidence in your face). A best strategy is to immediately realise that you are better than them – and you can think of the reasons later. You should obviously know why you are a 5 – need to have a good philosophy, know what life is all about and get that impact and happines potential. ANother important thing is, when u r with a circle of 1s and see a 3, you should not keep wondering about how ur life could be better if you were with them, instead u should think about how ur life as a 5 is better than theirs or the ones with them. SO just let go the less than 5 second game – you can reflect later thinking about how u r better than them even if you have starred at them and feel happy. And try to follow the above method to get ur confidence and make an impact on people in longer engagements.This is tough, but dont go bout analysing why they are better and dont get down thinking ‘why arent they/such people in my life’ when you see better looking people. I mean thats the natural way of thinking – wanting people with better potential in your life, but dont let that get you down for an extended period. Just think of how you are better and hence how your life is better. Just let go the instances where you just get to deal with them for 4-5 secsonds or less – you cannot make an impact, so dont worry about that, but think that in the longer engagement you will be able to make an impact on them by virtue of your superiority. So just know that you are not compromising any of your natural instincts to make an impact in the 4-5 seconds game – you cannot win in the 4-5 seconds game, but in a longer engagement you will.So whenever you see people who catch your eye – just go – im better than them esp happiness potential wise.
You may have to think about all the above points again and again, but to answer the question of how to act when you see someone attractive and of a higher scale than your background(not necessarily you) – it sokay if you get to stare/oggle for one or two seconds its natural . If you stare it doesnt mean that you are not on a higher scale yourself – although you may think that people on a higher scale dont generally stare/oggle. The reason as I explained is a difference in the background/exposure and the people on their minds and their everyday demeanour which is adjusted to ones background. So even if you stare you can be of a higher class. So you can stare/or avoid looking deliberately & act like you dont notice them/put up a snobbish face and act indifferent/ try to make an impact on them/ fail to make an impact on them/ think about why you cant be with them/fail in that situation or win in that situation, or do anything you can. But realise that you are better in the end and stop bothering yourself about how you did or didnt act in front of them. Like i said – you dont have enough time to exhibit the right behaviour under these circumstances if you are not good looking or from a higher circle yourself.
So what do you do when u come across noticeable person momentarily and u seem to be bothered by you not being able to be with them? well nothing, thats a losing moment for you – anything you do. you wont be able to do anything right about it unless you are extremely hot and elite yourself that you catch their eye.You dont get to show them anything, or make ur impact on them or anything at all. Just recover at the earliest u can once u get home with the reasons why you are still superior. If there was more time, u can make the right moves. Only hot and sophisticated people get to walk around making heads turn in public places- and you can do nothing about it to change that in ur case. But , only in the short momentary scenario thats the case. If there was more time, you can make your impact too and make them feel you are better than them too. Like when you walk into a really high class venue you are nervous initially and everyone seems relaxed. But when you have had the time to settle down n relax , you will appear as a relaxed confident person too. So dont go thinking that you didnt handle that moment well, the thing that needs to be done is prove to yourself that you can recover at the soonest. You losing that moment might make you a bit lesser and elevate the other , and maybe a bad thing in the larger scheme of things. But its the inefficiency of the momentary scenario that favors the good looking and elite and you cant do anything about it, and you wont ever have a chance to reverse it by giving it back to them someday.You just have to let it go. You just have to recover. And you just have to feel like you are superior again. And when you feel positive at a lot of times, occasionally you may be able to rattle one of those others belonging to the good-looking / elite( a lot of times phony) group . When you accept the loss, let it go, recover – you will genuinely feel like a better person for this character you have exhibited. So just try to enjoy staring/ogling at them, know that its a win for them and a loss for you, you will feel down for a while, but recover later knowing that you are better and that you will get a better scenario sometime to rattle them/people like them for which you have the potential. Also, dont feel if you did not ogle – its hard doing the right thing in thast situation, so just accept it and then recover. Maybe you can imagine giving it back to the same person that u just saw in an imaginary situation with ur wits n potential- that will bring you up.This is the way it has to be – any other things/demeanor you try – its gonna be unnatural and it will show and it will fail if you dont have the looks or the exposure/background. If it is a certain group that make u feel this way, if you are exposed to them often and do it the above mentioned way, you will get used to em and you will be able to project that confidence more quickly/on the spot. Thats why exposure to elite crowd in your family/friends circle is important.The natural confidence/appealing look that attractive/sophisticated people have in their face – its a reflection of the mostly creamy people/things on their mind and how they typically & hence instantaneously project such a confident demeanour in a given surrounding. The more even you have such hi-fi people things concepts on your mind the more times you are gonna come across as someone intriguing/hep to the others. For example you may not always think about philosophy of hi-funda things, but the moment those higher things are in your head – you feel very confident even in front of some of the most elite people who at that instant dont appear as if they are pondering over something impactful.
The above is the best way to deal with the situation because of this..Most of the people who rattle you – they dont even notice you. So they havent gained anything on their end and its upto you to feel good at the end of it ( which you can do by imagining giving it to them in a scenario in which u r supreme cos of ur potential). Some poeple notice u noticing them, but they dont think much of it and again dont gain anything by it. Only few people get an ego boost by snubbing you and reigning superior in that situation. This situation actually means they consider u a worthwhile person as reigning over u has made them happy – thats one consoling thing there. But This situation is especially bad for you if you think the other is from a rival faction ( eg the girl being a northie and ur a south indian and you kinda hate northies and dont want them to feel good at ur expense especially). The only thing u can do in this scenario is again imagine a scenario where u are sureme and get stronger mentally. If you know that you are better and can recover and feel good by imagining a situation in which u are better, this is a win for you in the end and u get a bit stronger & happier mentally – so imagine that scenario. So when u come across someone attractive think that 1) You are better than them 2) Your life is better than theirs(their partners) because of how u get to apply ur thoughts 3) About how that moment is a better moment for you than for them as u get to reflect on how u r better and feel happy about it, despite any ego boost they may have gotten on their end. But to feel the second ( about how ur life is better than theirs)point, u gotta think about a situation/scenario that you have experienced or that you may experience because of ur potential that is going to be positive for you. Infact confident/happy ones – mostly have such people/things on their mind. If you have not had any experience with a prettier person than the one you see before you – you just have to recover by thinking about how better you are and how you feel better most of the times because of your potential/what u know. I would say that seeing someone prettier on the streets is a distressful sensory input. Anything that makes u wanna act and change the situation is pain/ worry/bad thing and anything that relaxes you is a pleasurable/happier/good thing. Since you get worked up and feel a need to do something – seeing an attractive person( not when you have conquered/made an impact on them) on the street is a distressful thing. So follow the above process and recover eventually when you can, and come out in the positive at the of it. Know that every time u see someone, you are gonna think about it, recover and at the end are gonna feel stronger/positive/happier for having the philosophy mental strength & reasons to feel happy about it – the reason may not be just one super experience/reason that does it – but you are gonna think about so many things that are good for you and so many experience and potential experiences thats gonna add up to you realizing that you have a better life. So the next time – seeing a pretty person – just realize its gonna be a positive thing for you in the end for a longer time, despite being a distressful thing initially.
Actually, i think the following strategy is also good. The minute you see someone, recollect the things/words that make u think how ur life is better without them. I just say existential success, robotics, knowledge,philosophy , intellect – higher impact potential and happiness potential. When i bring these words into my mind, im happier and if theres time left after this recollection, you can try to bring up a demeanor that’s gonna make them notice and have an impact on them.
Who would you rather be in the car, Ranbir or the chauffeur?
Ranbir..the guy riding back seat,the better looking one of the two, and Rates higher among the 2 in overall potential to attract women. He doesnt have enough clicks because he didnt use axe
The chauffeur..the guy who rates low overall among the two.but has got more clicks because of using axe.
Lets assume that the clicks pertain to half their ‘in the game’ period and still have another half ahead of them.
If you are ranbir, the moment you enter the car, you feel like you are the better man amongst the 2..money,status,looks,(also assume knowledge / intelligence) inherent potential to be successful in the dating game and other things in life wise.
But when you find out that the other guy has had much more positive experiences(clicks in this case)…how does this change things about who is the better man? the happier man?
[since im a guy this example is from the guys perspective, but the same scenario of is also applicable for women]
Our objective is to live a good life (whatever you describe as good – fun,pleasurable,happier,noble etc etc) and more positive experience moments in our life.
Experiences can be anything like
indulging in physical pleasures like eating chocolates or having a nice swim etc,
emotionally and intellectually connecting with people, sharing jokes, discussing current affairs , blogging/vlogging and discussion in them,
Or moments of epiphany,soul searching..if you are a researcher or a philosopher or a social / political scientist,
or moments of positivity/negativity where you win or lose something while gambling an interview, or you realise that you have worked out a better strategy than your competitors .
A kid that has had chocolates more time another kid has had a better childhood than the other.
Thus an individual who has had more positive moments has had a better life than some one who doesnt.
So someone who might have born rich and does not have a significant increase in his fortune thereafter, might have not had so many positive experiences as compared to some one who had been able to accumulate even a fraction of that wealth by winning/getting paid.
I mean he can make use of the money to get other positive experiences, but Wealth wise, the later guy has had more positive experiences.
When there is a comparison between the 2 regarding wealth, The richer guy will feel superior in this aspect an momentarily make the other guy feel jealous, but from career wise, the later guy has had a better professional growth..And this scenario can be extended to all areas of life.
Although ranbir kapoor is inherently better than the other guy in matters of mating with his looks, status etc, the other guy has had a better romantic life with more positive experiences.
But the main point here is, despite his positive experiences, when he meets ranbir kapoor he will still feel less gifted to ranbir. Generally when someone is able to accumulate a lot of positivity, we tend to think that the person is automatically more talented and has more potential. But not all winners are intelligent/talented and not all talented/intelligent people have had success in their lives. So by looking at the click count, the chauffeur might think that he is inherently better than ranbir, but after carefully assessing all factors they both might come to the realisation that ranbir is inherently better.
Well, does experiences not matter then when it comes to evaluating an individuals inherent potential?
Answer(acc too me): Only those experience through which one gains and accumulates an attribute that contribute to ones inherent potential ..like some sort of knowledge or intellectual or emotional connection, or even physical qualities, or even making money matters. I mean the more such kinda experiences you have,,at the end of the day you are richer, physically better or Intellectually/knowledge wise you have more, and these things help you get more positive moments in the future. Experiences give you nice memories ,which gives you pleasure in the future when you think about it. I can say for sure,human connections thus carry more of a memory component rather than a swim in the ocean or eating a nice meal. Even someone who has had bad experience in the past..has experienced something that he knows uniquely and hence adds to his inherent knowledge/potential
eating chocolates are just momentary postive expereinces..You are not accumulating anything because of these experiences( however, if you have tasted something that is very unique that not many have had the pleasure of, then that adds to your unique -ness..something extra that you have experienced compared to the others).
I mean you can feel proud of and gain a lot(knowledge or ideas wise) from experiences such as exchanging mails with Noam chomsky or even when you talk/intellectually connect with someone from a totally different culture/place(and even remebering these moments give u pleasure/confidence in the future), but by eating the same chocolate for the 100th time you have accumulated nothing.
The Clicks in the axe ad,although are positive moments, are just re-assurances of this guys attractiveness(which ranbir is better by measuring the inherent factors) and this is just because the guy has been in the right place at the right time. Had these clicks been an relationship or an affair with more of a intellectual connection..those could be categorised as accumulative experiences. But if were just assurances of this guys attractiveness..it doesnt count as something that he has with respect to inherent attributes.
I mean you can keep on feeling superior by going to very impoverished areas and comparing your life with theirs( I guess thats why many foreign nationals like to do a trip of the impoverished areas in india..to feel better about themselves, and feel so high and mighty by doing a tiny bit of charity work and yap about consolidarity).
But these comparitive moments, re-assurances and physical aspects of pleasure so not add up to your potential.When you consume food…your digestive system has evolved such that whatever is good for your body also tastes good(not all the time but mostly). like fire is bad for your skin so you feel pain. And certain chemicals are harmful you feel pungent smells/taste towards undesirable chemicals. So positive food consuming experiences shuld also help you get a good physique. With respect to sex(not just the physical pleasure aspect of it)..sex is about connecting with someone and that counts as a full fledged experience that has both physical and intellectual components to it. Even experiences pertaining to accumulating wealth has an intellectual component associated with it(people in the Industry/ business verticals call it Experience..or knowledge accumulated from experience rather).
So when one compares with another to find out who the better individual is, the Intellectual/physical attributes gained and accumulated from experiences is what matters and not the experience itself. Some experiences add on to your inherent attributes and some dont.
There is a fine line in distinguishing experiences that pertain to human connections. The clicks in the Ad, are they just re-assurances???whereas things like short-term/long term relationships and intellectually connecting with people(be it of your status..like the cool people/hipster crowd of a city, or connecting with fellow bloggers/intellectuals) have an accumulating intellectual/emotional component to it beyond re-assurances??
or do even the clicks have a minor component of intellectual connection just like a short term relationship and contributes to social skills/knowledge/memory(like how to appear smart or watever)? if it does, it increase potential of the driver high compared to ranbir, as this guy has accumulated more of expereinces/know how pertaining to human connections/social skills. But I would conclude that the driver has had more positive moments in life , whereas Ranbir has more inherent potential
EXPERIENCES: So every moment of your life/experience has 2 components to it 1)the feeling(positive/negative, pain/pleasure) and 2) a value add component – by which you get something out of it and gets added to and makes your personality/inherent potential. Actually the first component also has a sub-component apart from the feeling , which is making your impact on things the same way they receive/gain something from the experiences. Some experience are high in some of the component and some are low. Our objective is to have a good life..lot of positive feeling moments/moments of making your impact on other things. Actually the sole purpose of a life force is to survive and make an impact to the extent it can(refer second last para in this article). Although in many occassions, pleasure/positive feeling is associated with something that contributes to your survival and making impact – like eating good food,or dating a hot partner or being in a popular/ leadership position to impact a lot of people or important people,, pleasure always doesnt mean you have done impactful things or things learnt. For example if ur a drug addict or food addict to a point that you just eat and find pleasure but havent really positively contributed to you or impacted anyone or anything – in those cases the pleasure is not proportional to your impact on things and your ultimate purpose. However, most just try to anticipate and maximise the pleasurable moments in our life and the ones who truly understand things will try to maximise the impact they make in life. Apart from trying to maximise momentary pleasure, we should also aim to get the experiences that make us inherently better by virtue of which we can hope to have many positive moments in the future and thus make more of an impact. i mean it is not possible to figure out if every single pleasurable act for us leads to something impactful, so we just try to maximise our pleasurable moments in the best way. Not all pleasurable moments are impactful moments but all impactful moments are definitely a positive thing considering your lifes purpose..even though it might be painful. I mean this is why men have been driven to fight wars even though they know that it could kill them, they subconsciously know that there is an impact made.
I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to impact/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in some way. For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence/have influenced people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.
Inherent Potential : Greatness Vs Fitness
I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across – wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.Also the effort and potential required to achieve Intelligence is higher than physical strength generally speaking in animal kingdom. However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering more life points / survival points)( unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor) has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get and gives them the power to influence most things around them they need.
And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people. And like i said before,intellectual feat is better than a physical feat considerign the effort and potential required to achieve it
the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?
Value of a person = Integral over time and all components(looks,intellect,power etc)[ (Skill level/Potential) in that particular component * Gradient of Survival agenda(factor deciding number of positive life points/moments) of that particular component]
The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the value of a politician or a suave artist is better as the value of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the valuel that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to influencing other people and scoring life points.
So an intellectual reasonably high achiever with no romantic connection has lesser(expereince/knowledge) value, compared to a person whose had the girlfriend/bf . A person whose had romantic relationships with many people/many different kinds of people/interesting and hip people has more, than a person whose had romantic relationship just one or few or people who are the same or people who are not so hip…despite experiencing more positive moments romantically by having sex more number of times but with just the same partner.
But a person who has had romantic relationships, and has achieved high may be better than someone who is a casanova but hasnt really achieved anything else intellectually/ skill wise or other kinds of experience wise.
So to rephrase the above equation and its implication..when a person with past romantic relationships and swag compare himself with A person with lot of knowledge and less experiences and relationships, they compare themselves in 2 ways 1) Higher skill level / potential 2) Fitness(considering the positive moments gradient).
Regarding the positive moments – it has past and future components
1) Number of positive moments in the past(been there,done that)…the swag wins(becoz of the gradient factor and the number of times we compare each other based on, is higher for fun/relationships rather than intellectual)..but this does not affect their comparing each other to see who is gonna do well in future..although like i mentioned past experiences give one some good memories and know hows for future.
2) Number of positive moments in the future(which determines who is better/well equiped for the future when the compare themselves) ..it depends on a careful analysis of whats required to get positive moment in the future…I mean lets say there is a group with swag/good looks and another with intelligence. The intelligent group can acquire wealth/power and thus consume healthy and become more good-lookin confident and get swag in the future( i mean for their offspring if we talk about really long term, or professionally if we talk about comparing high school youngsters and extrapolating their professional life and stuff). The same way the Currently good-looking swag group can also try to get smart and wise, and their good looks wont disappear but it will get transmitted in their genes as well for some generations. The question is which is harder to get..good looks or intelligence and which is gonna get you more peace of mind or happiness or positive moments in the future. I mean if the intelligent continue to be intellgent and good looking continue to be good looking, even the future would favour the good looking, ideally speaking..but things can change.
Another factor for comparitive positive moments is, are people gonna compare each other based on intelligence or looks?. I mean in a company its gonna be wit and in a club its gonna be looks. Although its not difficult to say people compare themselves more from a look/fun perspective than a wit perspective.This situation also determines which trait is gonna give them more positive moments.But this is just a sub-factor of the above criteria just like the fitness gradient to the positive moments, this is just the number of positive moments.
The person who is gonna have more positive moments overall — past + projected future is the better person in all circumstances
The important thing to realise is that ones past experiences thus doesnt stop with that individual but also includes his ancestors and associated group members and so does the future also extends to a person’s group and future offsprings. The projected positive moments of future thus depends on the ability to pass on a potential to the offsprings or related group. Genetic traits of look do pass on, but intelligence I guess depnds on nature(genetics) as well as nurture to a higher percent(refer articles related to classifying Intelligence).
So above is the first criteria of comparison..regarding who is gonna have more positive experiences. The second is simply who is better at skills. Its something like this….The potential of scoring chicks is a potential which may be 80 points (according to the difficulty in achieveng the looks,sophistication – all the physical and intellectual components behind it) that is if you were brad pitt. whereas the skill to be a reknowned String theorist or a public intellectual has 100 points, becoming the president has 90 points and so on. But the life points/positive moments gradient of scoring chicks is pretty high…lets say 60 , and the gradient points for being a physicist is low like say 40 . And climbing the everest..may be it has a difficulty level of 70, but its gradient point is low such as just 10. The application of brain muscle is a lot harder and has more points than applying the physical muscle. Although a physicist has put a lot of effort in understanding high concepts in physics, a politician must have put a lot of intellectual effort in becoming popular and a president as well.
So to give a points estimate to each of the component wrt Skill/Inherent potential(considering the genetic factor behind looks/intelligence) // Gradient for influencing people and having positive life moments – (not actual positive ife moments theyve had)
looks/Swag/ Class = 80// 60 (brad pitt). reg 60 I have mentioned why impressing girls/having a class or background, carry a lot of life points. And not all can be good looking.Swag actually means a combination of physical looks and a know how on being cool – in total giving it 80 points on a hypothetical scale used here. this translates as an effort of 80 points in the direction of looks will get you a score of 60 wrt positive life moments one can expect in the future.
Intelligence = 100 //40 (a quality physicist/public intellectual ). reg 40 ..people who know they are intelligent also feel good about it from time to time and intelligence helps when you are dealing with people and Intelligence also plays a role in being engaging and attractive. To understand the advanced Physics and being able to comprehend the highest of logics, it requires a lot of brain effort. The intellectual effort to become a theoretical physicist or reasonable calibre thus requires more effort than the effort(intellectual and physical) needed to become swag,sophisticated and also including the genetically carried component for the effort your ancestors might have put in their time(even intelligence has a genetic component)
A record holding athlete/mountaineer = 70/30 .30 is associated with the benefits of athleticism and the temporary fame and benefits a star athlete might get. 70 coz I guess its not an easy thing to become an olympic medalist or a mountaineer who on occasions might have risked his life.
The president = 90 //100 ….100 coz the millions of lives he gets to touch in small gradients.
So the theoretical physicist should feel superior to the player(and momentarily feel superior), but understand that the player is gonna have more positive moments overall.Of course the whole equation has to be integrated over time, considering the actual positive moments theyve had in the past and projected ones for future based on skill.And people have different scores for different components as well. Iron man has high scores in all components i guess. The scores regarding the difficulty to achieve a skill and the impact a particular skill can have were just what i felt like — I guess it can be further analysed, explained and altercated – like explaining how Intellectual skill is more difficult to attain than physical strength and why it will be more influential, and the different orientation of Intellect (like science or wit or dating know how or style) or physical strenght and how each of them score wrt attainability and influencing positive moments.
If you have connected/discussed with noam chomsky/einstein a deep concept you thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). If youve impressed/connected and had sex with a hot and classy chick thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). Even without not getting to discuss with prominent physicist or intellectuals, you can sometimes know that you have the intellectual capability. But without ever having had sex or only getting to have sex lesser times with not so hot people, can you claim to be a swag guy??? this is where the above axe ad situation and the reasoning above can be used. the answer is yes. Ranbir has more swag and potential to attract women despite not having many clicks. You can be a swag guy stuck in a prison somewhere and its only your bad luck and circumstances such as you conservative background that you lack the experience.
So now think of the girl/guy of your dreams. Why do we feel good about it if we all get our girl/guy of our dream? and why do we generally want them to be good looking/fun/wealthy/good/et etc ..the qualities we expect?
When we get the person of our dreams and experience being with them, you basically make an impact on them. When a single celled amoeba consumes a piece of organic material around, and gets bigger in size and then reproduces/splits into two – the end result of the whole process a piece of organic thing being converted into the form of an amoeba. So the life force present in the original amoeba, has impacted surrounding matter. So thats the only objective behind every life/matter and the force that makes them..to make an impact someway on the medium around(it wud be a good thing to refer to my ‘The medium’ post). The only bad thing for a force is not make its impact on anything…or do something that ultimately leads to ceasing of its existence as an organism/ unit and its impact on anything . When organic/living things turn to dust,the stationary forces within the matter of dust doesnt get to make a lot of impact on surrounding objects, only living things do in comparison. Thus the existence of force as an alive organism is better than being trapped in a dead/lifeless object – i mean you gotta imagine this from the level of a basic force not from the point of an advanced being.
So coming back to having your hot partner, you have both made an impact as well as received impacts from them and shaped each other. Thats why its good. All those people at the top – rich,powerful,hot are all the ones that are making more of an impact in this world. people with power,money,creativity,kindness ..whether you can accept and imagine it or not will be able to make more of an impact.The same goes to hot people. Coz hot people somehow also tend to get to preferred and get to the top and influence the other impactful people. Maybe you can appreciate someone who can feed a 100 poor for a day or a month, but the CEO of a large corp defintley makes a bigger impact in this world overall. And thats why you are trying to maximise your impact by trying to being with those at the top and impacting them and being impacted by them.With a hot partner , you think you can have a hot kid – your creation who will be more impactful. So I guess now you’ll be able to understand the totality of wanting to be with hot/successful/impactful people.
In conclusion there are 3 ways to compare yourself with others
1) pure inherent potential level – by which a star athlete can even be on the higher side coz he has put in a lot of effort to acquire a some skill. But intelligence tends to have the highest points for of skill/potential – as mentioned in the scales above
2a) Experienced positive moments – It is the actual positive moments one experiences. generally guys with the swag factor tend to have more positive moments in life.
2b) Future positive moments (projected through your fitness for Life) – This takes into combination the skill level/inherent potential multiplied by a factor of fitness gradient. Chances are a really intelligent guy can score high on the fitness scales compared to a guy with swag. the more the fitness level – more forecasted future positive moments.
3) Actual Impact made : the impact made by the life force that makes up your cells, on the other living/non-living things in this world and shapes future events and things. This is the ultimate purpose of the life force within you . I mean the higher scores in 2a, probably higher here as well but not always the case like explained above. even an average guy can get to save the lives of a lot of people and be impactful and a hero/villain in this world.
I hope the above criteria will give you some clarity on sizing up yourself against people you meet and determining who is better or to find solutions to your dating/relationship anxieties. The one with the better life is not the one who has more talent or pleasure,which are just proxies, but the one whose made the most impact on people and things. So when you r in a mall or a public place and you see others with hotter girlfriends or act like they are classier or sophisticated, just think that they are fortunate in the looks aspect(which is a more important trait for survival ) and score high in aspect 2( pleasurable moments in life) whereas you – if you happen to be intelligent-a higher trait have more points in aspect 1(pure inherent potential).
Now the human/animal brain is not perfect..We are supposed to feel pleasure for the things that increases our survival and objective and feel pain for things that decreases our objective. However, take the case of drug addicts or people who eat too much food..or just the act of jacking off, people feel pleasure doing these but it does not necessarily mean that they have made a big impact or positively contributed to their objective through that particular act. The same pleasure is felt by someone who actually impregnates a partner and makes a big impact that way, compared to someone who is just doing it wearing a condom or just wacking off to porno. So more pleasurable existence doesnt mean a more impactful existence. Although good looking people, or rather people higher in component 2 will make heads turn and have more chance of influencing people, really intelligent people have a chance of affecting a lot of people/lives in a big way by means of inventing something or becoming a leader/ public intellectual etc – and thus people with higher score in component 1 has a higher chance of making a really big impact on the world. In order to make an impact , it doesnt mean one has to mingle and keep socialising all the time with all the people. People also are selective in choosing their friends and circle coz they dont wanna waste their effort on someone who is easily impressed – coz with those people the impact you made on them will be short lived. Or if some one was to hang out with dumb or classless people, what they are and their confidence level decreases and has a negative impact on themselves. So people do exercise discretion, but sub-consciously its all about maximising your objective function – which is to make an impact.