What i would wanna tell to my kids..and people i care


Each of these items are explained more in detail in respective blogs and videos.

1) Explain the purpose of existence – my theories starting from universe, physics concepts, why anything exists at all and how we have the most likely/existence in place.
2) Purpose of life : Nihilism at an ultimate level. To make an impact at a level below nihilism and above self-preservation/proceation and day to day stuff.
While making an impact may give us pleasure and happiness, what ultimately matters the most is happiness and its not necessary that our happiness is propotional to the pleasures we have in life or the impact potential we have.

From a practical perspective the most superior being is the one who is the most happiest and you just need to know that you can be happy for no reason at all coz nothing matters eventually.
So if you know this truth, you have something that will make you happy and make you approach living positively. But a lot of practicalities come into picture as well for your overall happiness.

Practically those factors are intelligence, looks,money,power,popularity etc. It may seem like good looking people are having the most pleasurable of lives, but I say intelligent people can be more impactful
and more happy without necessarily having the most pleasurable life.

3) Tamil pride : There are historic reasons and virtues that we have, which gives resaons for us to be happy about being ourselves.

4) Approach : Knowing the above stuff, i would ask them to be happy and confident all the time and know how great it is to be them.

5) Mankinds destiny is to create AI which will be far more impactful than us and yet our creation. I have the best approach and only approach likely to succeed in creating true General AI. – A system with the instinct to make an impact – its my idea, working on a patent on this. lets see if it leads to anything. Even if not me, someones gonna take  this idea and develop it further.

5) Nothing expected : Since nothing matters, only thing i’d want is for them to be happy. But when parents are constantly worried about aspects of your life, it puts more stress on you.
The only thing i would say to them is – understand the points above, if you understand them, you can know that i will be happy knowing that my children are gonna
have a happy life. So peace of mind all around. I wont be too concerned about you, keeping tabs on you . I would forever assume that you are happy if you understand the above points and thas gonna be a big relief for you.Maybe i would suggest to them to have enough collagen ..to make things better practically.
You may of may not have a good job,family, offsprings, success,status,etc etc etc. But if you know the above, I will forever be happy for you.

This is actually a big problem – people are more depressed because of fear of disappointing their parents. I say fuck ur parents – let me explain. Obviously if u get to become a captain of ur industry and actually fulfill what ur parents think is the best way to live – you are good. Most in most cases and in most things we are not upto their expectation. And mainly because ur parents are not happy with what you are happy with. If its not their way – they dont understand it and hence you will always be a disappointment. I have explained why we care about our parents/siblings/caste/ethnicity/language/culture/religion etc etc in one of my other blogs. Its because – a part of us is the same in each case and the purpose of exisntece of u and that part of you has a commonality of purpose of existence of that part in the other person  whether that part is physical your genes/features etc or intellectual like your thoughts/relgion/beliefs etc.  So now what this means is, if your parents do not understand that part you are happy about and they have a different set of expectation to that and are disappointed/unhappy about that – fuck em. Thats a part of them thats different to yours and so you do not have to care about their disappointment arising from their difference. But if you want to be a succesful X and ur parents also want you to be a successful X and that doesnt seem to be happening – then thats something to worry about/concern with. Im so so proud of myself – my ideas etc. But my parents dont understand that because they are fundamentally different people in their thoughs. So I may disappoint them that way – but thats their fault that they have a different thinking and cant understand me. So i dont care that a part of my parents – thats different to what I am fundamentally, is causing botheration to them – its an alien part for all i care.But what about the things that are common to us. lets say u are the son of ragnar and u wanna conquer england the same and the onus is on you. This should be simple – if the glory u seek gives a lot of happiness with a decent probability which is greater to the amount of time you are anxious about it go for it. I have such an ambition right now too – to open us a cafe-which is actually a lab for Singularity. Im sure my parent would be proud i i get to create such a lab too. But fuck i have nothing rite now – no investment nothing, and I always keep thinking about it and worry about it. Im sure it will give me n parents great happiness, but with the probability of it happening, I think its better to give up that ambition. I sure as fuck would be more peaceful n content with my life without having to do this. But, i would have given up of a gret way to give my parents some happiness. But yeah so im giving it up.

 

Yesterday i told my mom and sometime ago my dad about how Im happy even though i may not lead a life they think is ideal ( family, kids, companionship etc). I told them how im already an impactful person than someone whose had 10 kids and happier than someone living a happy family life with the love of their life/soulmate/manam pol mangalyam ( if at all that exists).

I think they get that a very little bit. Thats enough, i dont expect them to understand fully and firmly believe what i said. But the little bit they understand gives me relief, think it will make the rest of their days a lil better. Actually its a bit more significant that little better. Coz its gives them something to look forward to. I mean people are anxious all the time – like they are looking for things to happen that they want. Cant live with absolutely nothing to look forward to and without joy or sorrow – it just doesnt happen. There is always something on people’s mind. So now, its okay to be anxious that way but there has to be positive hope in that anxiety. Just like going all in with 70 % probability and waiting for turn and river. One just shouldnt carry a negative thing/incident too long , people can wait but shouldnt think its going down, they should have the feeling that something good may happen. And if they have that feeling they should keep trying to live for as long as they cant despite difficulties or something. Coz hope is a positive feeling and the amount of positive things we can accumulate over a period is what we gotta do. Otherwise it would make sense for people to die at 21 if they think they should be spared of  difficulties. Even if you are absolutely alone – no family, kids or even friends ( I think this scenario is bound to happen a lot of people who are not into family life today and in the future) the reason you should keep going is if you can do even the smallest of things like buying products, patronising companies which in turn drives a change and makes an impact – even to the smallest extent. You should only take out your life if practical difficulties are too much to tolerate, not because you dont have a reason to live. I keep yapping a lot these days, but thats only coz everything fits into my grand narrative of things and so im a bit more comfortable expressing them out i guess. I mean i was just watching the sick n dying mother scene from “The punisher”( not that i think its a cool show and mentioning it) and this is what made the last kinda off the topic paragraph a little longer. Actually, im gonna finish this up properly in the coffee vs gun post.

This post came from me pondering over whether i will be a good dad or not owing to my current situation. Our closest relatives – apes ( chimps n bonobos) are non-existent fathers and play 0 role in parenting it seems. But it also comes down to the environment. In human societies – men have been such gems , bearing so much responsibility on them so far. But now in modern times thigns are getting a bit chaotic. On top of that im not a very responsible alpha guy. Im quite detached from the people / society around me and so i only know how to throw money at problems, im not much of a hustler or the know how to get things done guy. So, im worried for my kids, if I get to have kids. Atleast I have something to tell them that will guide them well, even if i dont get to be for them in the way most typical fathers do in society now.

 

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5 thoughts on “What i would wanna tell to my kids..and people i care

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  1. Hi Jayan, Could you describe the south indian way of thinking? You mentioned this before in one of your posts on bengalis. from my experience, south indians are much closer to gujaratis in being basically utilitarian although not to that extreme. bengalis are self-obsessed while other north indians are “other-obsessed”. self-disclosure: i am a north indian.
    Anyway, I just wanted to understand what ypu meant by “think like a south indian”. thanks.

    1. I can just see in their eyes how bengalis are more considerate than average north indians. When you see people yapping away, from their tone and what they say one can figure out what all things the speaker is considering before they spurt out the words, just like how you can read the mind of 10 year olds whereas they cannot fully comprehend whats going on in an adult mind. There is a blog – with a comparitive classification of intelligence betwen various groups – my opinion of course

      1. Thank you for your reply. my post wasn’t worded slightly awkwardly; i rather meant inwardly and outwardly -oriented. nonetheless, i agree with you about bengalis in comparison to other north indians (if it matters).

        i’ve been through your writings and presentations. Variations of the bengali bhadralok are actually found throughout north india (although rare today) and this class emerged out of quite desperate circumstances of both collaboration and opposition during british colonization. I mean, it may be difficult to emulate their “style” in the absence of the actual historical contexts. Very likely, the outcome would be something like the unseemly attempts by gujjus to “become” rajputs and punjabis. I really dont see the IT guys in the south (have had some exposure to them, but not to other south indians) approaching the likes of tagore and vivekananda. the bhadralok creamy layer had real national and international substance to them beyond the styles and fashions. it was

        Your post on south indian intelligence does not address motivation which was my original concern. in north india, there are two poles as far as motivation goes: there is the gujju pole and the rajput pole. gujjus are motivated by money which is a little different than purely utilitarian motivation which seems to be in south indians. also, south indians are friendly and nice but they do not seem sentimental like bengalis. (by gujju, i mean gujju type mercantilist behavior throughout the north).

      2. ok, yeah i wasnt taking about the professions they take up or lifestyle or motivation of money/national pride or stuff. It was simply a classification based on how much thought I think people process.
        Im also aware that Gujjus consider themselves more intelligent than the ‘North Indians’ . Another piece of info, It is a theory that the vellalas of south india came from gujarat to south india..the sage agastiyar brough the velirs from gujarat to down south they say

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