This is long but worth the read. As this was written over many days there are some points that maybe outdated – nevertheless were part of my thinking process. The end section is likely to reflect my latest thoughts on this.
New Draft (older draft contains the originl content, newer is just my latest take on things)
- Skin color Reason :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXMltbMFbsA
- Flab,figure , skin texture , conservative ,mature and lack of a playful fun impression r all there, but i wanna explain what exactly is attractive with my impact theory.
Impact theory says that all purpose of all forms/forces trapped within those forms ( life or otherwise) is to make an impact. For Life forms, they derive pleasure out of things that are impactful – explains why a child likes to play with toys or we like to listen to music or why we find other races exotic or why we like to play around with pets. I mean at an ultimate level im a nihilist but from a biological perspective, we derive pleasure out of making an impact( not always proportionately but nevertheless).
einstein is an impactful person but his wife would only find little comfort in that. Coz We like to make an impact on an impactful person to maximise our impact and not waste our efforts on less impactful people. And Einstein is impactful for his physics intelligence and his wife has little to do with the impact he was creating. However, if you are the guy thats hitting sunny leone on a regular basis, sunny leone – who makes millons of guys waste spem, – its all pertainign to the sexual arena so you are an impactful guy, right? In primitive times women find dominant males attractive, coz dominant males were simply more impactful. But like I said, the brain is not very efficient and it still mostly gets attracted to physical superiority than intellectual superiority. Coz its easy to extrapolate physical impact than intellectual impact. Plus attraction, pleasure love making, baby making are all related to physical health.
I mean, einsteins wife is there to have physical relations with him and some personal emotional stuff, she has little do do with the intellectual impact that he is creating. But maybe the fact that she is with a popular scientist gives a bit of comfort. Attraction is only about physical impact, and only people who are cuter, can dance , can talk smooth , with whom one can extrapolate fun in mind come across as attractive.If you wanna be attractive , you gotta be impactful in the physical sense and not in fighting sense but in physical/pleasurable sense. Im tired now so will post my video here
Now a bit about how to act in front of attractive people that u see. Like I said it all about making the right moves – moves that indicate your impact potential, within the area of fun/cool things pertaining to mating.When you are walking in a public places – deep down what everyone whats to do is to make an impact on the other somehow. There are several scenarios to this. Someone who wants nothing to do with ones below them will refrain from making any moves coz they simply want to avoid them. But someone who feels inferior to the other also refrains from making any moves coz they wanna save any pain from confrontation.In the former case, it would be like – Im big enough so that the other one is not able to make any impact one me, in another scenario – the better person wants to come across like he is big enough that he is confidently making my move infront of the other, while the other isnt making any move. Even in the former scenario – by not making any moves/staying indifferent to the efforts of someone else, one is trying to send across a message that they are better than the other and thus make an impact on them. So what should you do? Obviously if u think the other is attractive, u gotta make positive moves, coz if u act otherwise – u r just kidding urself – people can sense you are acting like u r better without a proper reason and that u r truely not confident about urself. But in some cases u need to have an attitude too which is explained below. Even with someone who u think is marginaly attractive and that u r better than them, u still want to make an impact on them. So the fact that u r trying to make an impact on them doesnt mean that they r superior to you. So, For the first 2 to 3 seconds u see an atractive girl/guy you just stare at their beauty, for the next 2 to 3 seconds you still stare thinking how better than u they r wrt beauty/fun stuff. Right there they have already made an impact on you, but you are yet to make an impact on them and at this point they are the ones superior to you hence. You generally cant do much about that, but recover after some 6 or 7 seconds and realise how impactful and superior you are in comparison to them or the guy/girl hitting them. ( if you are a nihiilist, your life is also better than theirs). And now after the 7 seconds, have an attitude in your face — which they might note — and which might shake them up and leave them wondering how eaxctly does this person think they are better than them. If they see that attitude in your face ( attitude with a real reason and not just fake attitude without proper reason) they will be shaken n wondering and thats all the impact that you can hope to make. Somewhere in my blogs or vlogs ive mentioned why Intelligence is more impactful than looks- cos the most attractive guy can only bring about some 10000 kids at absoulte max with his charming ability. A person of intelligence can make or wipe out billions of lifes and influence billions of lives(example the guy who figured how to trap nitrogen to make ammonia). So attitude with a real reason is important, and when u have this true confidence and attitude with a real reason, all you have to do is to have a demeanour that indicates you will be willing to make playful/fun move for the others — which they might sense and reciprocate leading to positive relations. Even people who know you are better than them will be genuinely nice( make fun,positive moves towards you). They simply accept u r better and just hope that they can impact you in some ways. Only problem is , they get let down by people who think they are better and sometimes they start to care about being superior to others. But mostly people just stare and walk past so you just have to indicate that you think you are better than them, not try to come across as friendly. Only in the case that you think that the other person respects you and thinks you are impactful and wants to connect with you, you change your demeanor to being friendly, till then “im holier than thou” attitude will do just fine while you are walking by and seeing people who think they are up there.
Now only 2 kinds of people have it easy and have the natural confidence 1) people with good looks(pleasure potential) and 2 ) people who are the elite/sophisticated(impact potential)- in india people who talk in english all the time and act not so much like a typical indian but an hybrid-westernish person. 1 st category instantly know that they are being looked at when they walk in a public place, 2nd category – They belong to a elite circle and can instantaneously classify the surrounding crowd as below them and hence they get that confidence instantly. These hybrid coconuts however feel inferior to foreigners when walking amongst them.
Now you will notice these types and stare at them for a while – you cant help that. many pretend to not notice them but still both parties know who feels they are superior and inferior. Now if you are someone that doesn not have looks or do not belong to an elite crowd, but still upon reflection you know you are a better/having more impactful person, this is how it has to be. For the first 4 or 5 seconds you simply stare at them admiring/noticing/analyzing their goods. But what you have to do is think about how you are the better/more impactful person and find true confidence and superiority about yourself – almost like you are ready for a confrontation with them with confidence. However you cant just be mean all the time, you may also have to try and befriend them for either romantic or other kinds of association. So words that have to go through your mind is ” I M BETTER THAN YOU , BUT I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY/DEAL WITH YOU” With this attitude in your head you can also establish your supremacy but also open up your chances of impacting them positively/mutually. If you r truely intelligent and have a better impact potential , you as a south indian also belong to the most successful group on earth and this have a good background – if you wanna know how, you gotta check out my other blogs n youtube channel videos.So there are plenty of reasons for you to feel superior to the coconuts or the ones blessed with hotness. But keep reading the older draft of this – where ive discussed some stuff in detail.
But only from one perspective ‘making an impact’ is the ultimate thing in life and your impact potential is what makes you better or worse than the other. But from the
perspective of a number of other schools of thought – say for example nihilism or buddhism, what matters most is happiness. ANd now there’s 3 things in contention –
Impact potential, pleasure potential and Happiness potential. Although from this perspective pleasure trumps impact, it doenst mean that one who has the most
pleasurable life is the most happiest. One can have a better happiness potential based on their philosophy or other virtues. So Eiher by impact potential or happiness
potential, intelligent ones can have the confidence that they are better than the charming ones who seem to have all the worldy pleasures happen for them.
So final takewaway is – u just have to have a proper reason to believe in your superiority n not fake it and whether u choose to have an attitude or try to be friendly depends on the situation. But its not that you always compare urself with people u see. When you see a noticeable person your mind either starts thinking whether they are better than you or not, or , thinks about whether you can be with them or atleast u are with a group of people like or better than them . This blog has thus far already dealt with how you go about comparing urself and feeling better. But sometimes, you feel like why cant you be with that person even though you may feel like u r better than them. If you feel that way , i think what one has to do is think about how your life is still better/happier than someone who gets to have them in their life. Better/Happier coz of ur happiness potential – owing to your better philosophy. The moment you see a person like that should instantaneously turn into a moment of reflection of how better ur life is, or simply just enjoy admiring them knowing that ur life is better and feeling good at the end of it. If you do this quick enough you come across as someone with potential.Even if you dont do it quick enough, end of it you should process everything and get feeling good – either coz of ur reflection of your betterness or coz of getting to see an attractive person and getting turned on for some moment. Bu the above is just so that you start feeling good, and you still have to make an impact when ur out in front of others – somehow its not enough if u just feel good abt yourself. So to make an impact, you have to get ur confidence as soon as possible and indicate the passers by that you think you are better than them, that will shake them up – which is ur impact on them. For this, whenever u go out in the public, you can be ready for it and carry an attitude all the time. You know what im saying – some people whenever they are in public – always walk around with an attitude. If you cant always walk around with an attitude, you should atleast be able to generate that attitude/confidence at the quickest. you should simply try to have an attitude most of the time ” thinking that im better than most people coz i have a better philosophy in life, and this philosophy beats looks,power,money,sophistication & other pleasures”. If you cant have that attitude all the time – just the ability to get the confidence quickly. As a strategy you can try to have an attitude when u walk past too many people in a mall or something where you dont have enough time. but in a place where you are with people over a period of time, you can stay relaxed and take your time to display your attitude and make an impact.In situations when you are generally relaxed suddenly come across attractive people where you dont even have enough time to make an impact( say for example you are going in a car and you see someone attractive walk past)- thats the tricky one – you dont get to make an impact as in most of the limited moments you have – you are just staring them processing their attractiveness. There is an urge for you to make an impact on them coz after you make an impact you are happier. But the whole point of trying to make an impact is just to be happy, so even if you dont make an impact ( by making them notice you) you can reflect about how you are better than them and feel happy about it. You can just do your best to make an impact there, but its hard to switch quickly – so just know that its okay that you didnt get to show ur attitude to them. It is the attractive and the elite ones that get to make the impact in those situations mostly.You can only try to get ur confidence asap and make them notice. Most of the time you wont even be in a position where they can notice you and so its hard for you to make an impact. But if they dont notice you, it means that they dont realise the impact theyve made on you and hence you dont have to feel like youve let someone else make an and impact on you without you being able to do the same on them – so its okay, you dont have to feel down about not being able to make an impact on them. Just know that if you get to confront them one on one you will be able to get the better ( assuming that you are confident about your impact & happiness potential). In the case that they do notice you noticing them, you have a chance to make them realise ur confidence – even if its only a fraction of a second. So be prepared for that fraction of a moment – if you see someone attractive walking past but you dont know if they will notice you or not, be prepared for it anyway and bring that attitude in ur face – for if they notice ur confidence, u would have made an impact on them.Actually the moment you stare – it doesnt indicate whether you feel confident or not – its the way you follow through after you notice/stare at them that tells whether you think you are better than them or not. Simply staring at others doesnt come across as you thinking they are better – your follow up demeanour does. So a short stare and a quick follow up with a better demeanour is the way. And after you have walked past you can think about what would happen if you interact with them and if you feel that you are superior to them you will be happy in your head.
Actually we still havent adequately explained how the sophisticated and good looking people feel confident all the time. They dont constantly asses every single moment their surroundings – it is done very subconsciously they get a feel /estimate the surrounding and carry with them their confidence most of the time. So when they carry the confidence around, even if they stare at you in some instances, it doesnt come across as someone beneath you is staring at you. Unfortunately if you are not good looking or a of a sophisticated circle, you cannot get that feel constantly. These people have the confidence all along the time they look at you, but you may need to generate it and takes time for you and so it doesnt come to you naturally if you are not that category. They have this confidence naturally because in their heads they are thinking about stuff/people in their life who all belong to an upper circle with confidence and act accordingly.These people are used to dealing with people of that circle who are confident and so in their heads its mostly these confident people and they mostly have a demenour that exhibits confidence since they are also part of that circle.Its not even like they are assessing each and everyone they come across, they can feel confident in most environments and even when they come across someone of calibre, they do not have to change their demeanour so much since they already have such high calibre people in their heads. They notice others only if they have a potential(higher) than what people in their circle/heads like looks or sophistication. If not they dont even notice the ones they walk past – they do this pretty fast too cuz if they are used to pretty/sophisticated faces, not many can grab their attention unless they have higher potential. It is easy for good looking, well dressed people to hence grab attention in public places rather than intelligent people with actual high happiness potential. When you notice someone it means they have some higher potential(happiness/pleasure/impact) than the people of your circle- the ones whom you r accustomed to. And when u notice them you spend around 3 seconds noticing/analysing them -and this comes across as they are better than you. But you have to feel more confident after you are done analysing that you are better than them. dont think that ur life would be better if you are with them rather than the current people in your life, but you should think that your life is better than theirs whenever you come across people that have the potential. When i came back after living in australia for 4 years, i carried that confidence and now its declined. I have confidence in some settings. Actually even if you are hot stuff yourself, if you havent seen as many good looking people before – you stare. You just have to have been in a cirlce/atmosphere where you see good looking people most of that time – in which case you dont stare too much at someone good looking and can quickly display a confidence. But if you are not from that background – you begin to stare more. So its just who you see/hang out/belong with most of the time that affects whether you stare at people for long or not and how qucikly you can bring your confidence. If your friends circle/background is average you will be staring at people for a longer time and cant bring up ur confidence quickly – even though you maybe of a higher impact or happiness potential. It all just depends on your background. So send ur kids to good schools. So think about it, you have definitely seen hot people but ones who u know instantly are below you status wise and so you look at them with confidence almost instantly. Only if you are not from a elite background you start ogling at someone attractive for sometime before you recover from your ogling and start to pose with confidence. This person just have to be at your status or maybe slightly higher than the crowd you generally hang out with for you to feel this way ( shaken at first, but able to recover later).People only have to be slightly better than the status of people who ur used to seeing everyday for you to feel that way – its not necessary that it makes you below them.You always walk around with a feeling -anticipating dealing with people of a certain status/range. If someone who is beyond that(either in pleasure potential or happiness/impact potential or with a higher status) shows up -which you were not anticipating…you have to change your mindset – the way you carry yourself and all that to deal with them. Thats requires sometime – you cant change much about it. Thats why its better if you belong to a elite background – you just feel confident in most times and scenarios and since your strategy/mindet is already wrt dealing with elite people in mind, you can instantaneously feel better than most people you see . This also gives people the impression that you are as good as the circle you belong to – but this is not true you can be of a much higher happiness potential than the family you are born into or the friend’s circle you get. South Indians/tamils in general are of low happiness/pleasure & impact potential generally and so you as a tamil will look at northies with awe on occasions when you see them. But like i said, watch my other blogs and realise that you are of better impact/happiness potential. And when you realise that you are better than the attractive person in front of you – you just have to look at them with a confidence – “im better than you but id like to deal with you” confidence and look at them with comfort/a sense of superiority / without any insecurity – as if you were looking at a hot girl but from a naive background. In real life, you dont have time to think of all the reasons why you are better, so just know that you are of a better potential from the top of the head. Just start looking at them with a confidence. The only thing that you realize is that they are better than your cirlce, but quickly realise that they are not better than you.So just instantaneously look at them with confidence as if you would look at a person who is attractive but not as much an impact/coolness potential as you. White people carry this feeling all the time with other races .And there is an hierarchy among races. Indians feel this confidence over mongoloids and Negroids, but not so much with other caucasians. So dont even think, just look at people with confidence in most situations – you can work out later how you personally are better and that they might just be better/attractive than the people you regulary see.Its actually not even status or anything, we tend to notice people who are ultimately higher at happiness potential (not the fake happiness potential like most moral do gooders). We are evaluating happiness potential of people in our surroundings and the minute someone with a formidable potential comes, we need to adjust our strategy and so it takes time for that. If you are from a circle/background where people are of a higher happiness potential, your adjustment is limited as you are already walking around with an mindset/stratgey that fits into to those. If not, you have to raise your game and get your confidence as soon a possible and get that ” im better than you but i still wanna deal with you” demeanor indicating your confidence/happiness potential. And happiness potential roughly is a factor of looks and sophistication after all. And when i say adjust your strategy – it doesnt mean falsely believing you have a better happiness potential – its just that these “attractive” people have a higher potential than the regular people in your life and so you have to change your demeanor accordingly. Either the people you see are below or above the average potential of your cirlce. For the ones adjudged below – there is no adjustment needed as, as per your natural instincts you dont really want anything from them. For the ones above your background( not you necessarily but your background), your natural instincts are to do something about it and want to do something with them. Thats why you feel like you should do something about them. But the fact that you wanna do something with them doesnt mean they are above you – it just means they have something to offer that can enhance your life experience than what you have currently- like the people in your circle / background. It may also be the case that you can offer or enrich their life way more that what they can offer you with your impact/pleasure/happiness potential, but still you’d be interested in them. So its okay and natural that for the ones above your feel/approach has to be different than the regular people. You need to bring up your confidence in those cases and display them in your demeanour, dont go feeling insecure. I mean you may become insecure if you dont have reasons to believe that you are of a higher potential . But the point here is, you dont have to wonder why you feel like acting differently with some people especially attractive/high potential people. I have, for the longest time wondered why people act differently with different people and that its bad to act that way. But now i guess the above points justfy the difference in our feeling wrt diff category of people. Regarding that “wanting to do something about them” part – you just have to get ready to engage with you confidence ( true confidence which comes naturally with proper reasons)- the feeling which you can skip with normal people. Actually need to continue on here…Theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you know are below you. And theres people “who you wanna do something with” but you are not sure if they are too good for you meaning – they are of a higher potential than you.But if you are not sure if they are too good for you, it is only a reflection of the people who are in your circle/background mostly. You may be still be better than them individually coz of ur philosophy/coolness/happiness potential etc.The logic ive been telling before applies here, its mostly just about your background if you feel you may not be good enough for certain people. If you are philosophically sound, you are a cool person with a great happiness potential and so you be proud of yourself and feel better than most people you see.
So the kinds of people there are are
- people who you wanna have nothing to do with
- people who you wanna do something to with – but know you are better than them
- people who you wanna do something to with – but they are higher than the background/professional/friends circle you belong to but not better than you
- people who you wanna do something to with – they are better than your circle, and they maybe better than you if you dont have enough happiness potential. Hopefully you dont feel this way about anyone and you are truely cool/of a higher happiness potential than anyone else you come across in person, owing to your better philosophy.
Since from a nihilistic point of view, being happy is the ultimate aim of life ( & even from buddhist & bhagwath gita point of view) people who seem happiest/upbeat/confident in any place/environment r themost suprior people in that environment. Not fake happy but real happy about who they are and their impact potential or pleasure potential or their happiness potential.
To Summarise :
South indians and tamils especially have a high intelligence and thus impact potential and hence can also have high happiness potential if they have the right attitude/philosophy/confidence despite not having a great pleasure potential.
When you walk around and deal with others – only the ones who belong to a family/friends circle with a high potential(looks,sophistication etc) will be able to maintain a cool demeanour by not having to stare at people who they come across – this is because they already have high potential people in their lives and heads all the time and already have a strategy/demeanour thats appropriate to deal with them. The others will for atleast 2 to 3 seconds notice and stare and analyse people with potential that they come across. So you can still be a 5 but not belong to an elite circle and hence end up staring at people in places, but it does not mean that the ones who you are staring at is better than you. We always subconsciously try to make an impact on people we see to self assure and to derive pleasure out of – for example by making people notice us (for good reasons). However, if you are a 5 but belong to a circle of 1’s you will end up staring at 2’s n 3’s n 4’s and so in a 2 to 3 second game where you only notice each other for 2 to 3 seconds before you walk past – you will not be able to win( make an impact) . This is inevitable because the human instinct is to analyse something worthwhile that they come across and it will see how to make an impact on them. So one starts to think about how to deal with them to make an impact on them for sometime – may be 4 to 5 seconds takes up this time and so during this time you cannot change your demeanour that faster to indicate that you think you are better. Only if your engagement can be longer for upto 7 or 8 seconds, after staring you can think about how you are better than them and then you can display ur confidence – which will make them wonder why you think you are better( apparant from the confidence in your face). A best strategy is to immediately realise that you are better than them – and you can think of the reasons later. You should obviously know why you are a 5 – need to have a good philosophy, know what life is all about and get that impact and happines potential. ANother important thing is, when u r with a circle of 1s and see a 3, you should not keep wondering about how ur life could be better if you were with them, instead u should think about how ur life as a 5 is better than theirs or the ones with them. SO just let go the less than 5 second game – you can reflect later thinking about how u r better than them even if you have starred at them and feel happy. And try to follow the above method to get ur confidence and make an impact on people in longer engagements.This is tough, but dont go bout analysing why they are better and dont get down thinking ‘why arent they/such people in my life’ when you see better looking people. I mean thats the natural way of thinking – wanting people with better potential in your life, but dont let that get you down for an extended period. Just think of how you are better and hence how your life is better. Just let go the instances where you just get to deal with them for 4-5 secsonds or less – you cannot make an impact, so dont worry about that, but think that in the longer engagement you will be able to make an impact on them by virtue of your superiority. So just know that you are not compromising any of your natural instincts to make an impact in the 4-5 seconds game – you cannot win in the 4-5 seconds game, but in a longer engagement you will.So whenever you see people who catch your eye – just go – im better than them esp happiness potential wise.
You may have to think about all the above points again and again, but to answer the question of how to act when you see someone attractive and of a higher scale than your background(not necessarily you) – it sokay if you get to stare/oggle for one or two seconds its natural . If you stare it doesnt mean that you are not on a higher scale yourself – although you may think that people on a higher scale dont generally stare/oggle. The reason as I explained is a difference in the background/exposure and the people on their minds and their everyday demeanour which is adjusted to ones background. So even if you stare you can be of a higher class. So you can stare/or avoid looking deliberately & act like you dont notice them/put up a snobbish face and act indifferent/ try to make an impact on them/ fail to make an impact on them/ think about why you cant be with them/fail in that situation or win in that situation, or do anything you can. But realise that you are better in the end and stop bothering yourself about how you did or didnt act in front of them. Like i said – you dont have enough time to exhibit the right behaviour under these circumstances if you are not good looking or from a higher circle yourself.
So what do you do when u come across noticeable person momentarily and u seem to be bothered by you not being able to be with them? well nothing, thats a losing moment for you – anything you do. you wont be able to do anything right about it unless you are extremely hot and elite yourself that you catch their eye.You dont get to show them anything, or make ur impact on them or anything at all. Just recover at the earliest u can once u get home with the reasons why you are still superior. If there was more time, u can make the right moves. Only hot and sophisticated people get to walk around making heads turn in public places- and you can do nothing about it to change that in ur case. But , only in the short momentary scenario thats the case. If there was more time, you can make your impact too and make them feel you are better than them too. Like when you walk into a really high class venue you are nervous initially and everyone seems relaxed. But when you have had the time to settle down n relax , you will appear as a relaxed confident person too. So dont go thinking that you didnt handle that moment well, the thing that needs to be done is prove to yourself that you can recover at the soonest. You losing that moment might make you a bit lesser and elevate the other , and maybe a bad thing in the larger scheme of things. But its the inefficiency of the momentary scenario that favors the good looking and elite and you cant do anything about it, and you wont ever have a chance to reverse it by giving it back to them someday.You just have to let it go. You just have to recover. And you just have to feel like you are superior again. And when you feel positive at a lot of times, occasionally you may be able to rattle one of those others belonging to the good-looking / elite( a lot of times phony) group . When you accept the loss, let it go, recover – you will genuinely feel like a better person for this character you have exhibited. So just try to enjoy staring/ogling at them, know that its a win for them and a loss for you, you will feel down for a while, but recover later knowing that you are better and that you will get a better scenario sometime to rattle them/people like them for which you have the potential. Also, dont feel if you did not ogle – its hard doing the right thing in thast situation, so just accept it and then recover. Maybe you can imagine giving it back to the same person that u just saw in an imaginary situation with ur wits n potential- that will bring you up.This is the way it has to be – any other things/demeanor you try – its gonna be unnatural and it will show and it will fail if you dont have the looks or the exposure/background. If it is a certain group that make u feel this way, if you are exposed to them often and do it the above mentioned way, you will get used to em and you will be able to project that confidence more quickly/on the spot. Thats why exposure to elite crowd in your family/friends circle is important.The natural confidence/appealing look that attractive/sophisticated people have in their face – its a reflection of the mostly creamy people/things on their mind and how they typically & hence instantaneously project such a confident demeanour in a given surrounding. The more even you have such hi-fi people things concepts on your mind the more times you are gonna come across as someone intriguing/hep to the others. For example you may not always think about philosophy of hi-funda things, but the moment those higher things are in your head – you feel very confident even in front of some of the most elite people who at that instant dont appear as if they are pondering over something impactful.
The above is the best way to deal with the situation because of this..Most of the people who rattle you – they dont even notice you. So they havent gained anything on their end and its upto you to feel good at the end of it ( which you can do by imagining giving it to them in a scenario in which u r supreme cos of ur potential). Some poeple notice u noticing them, but they dont think much of it and again dont gain anything by it. Only few people get an ego boost by snubbing you and reigning superior in that situation. This situation actually means they consider u a worthwhile person as reigning over u has made them happy – thats one consoling thing there. But This situation is especially bad for you if you think the other is from a rival faction ( eg the girl being a northie and ur a south indian and you kinda hate northies and dont want them to feel good at ur expense especially). The only thing u can do in this scenario is again imagine a scenario where u are sureme and get stronger mentally. If you know that you are better and can recover and feel good by imagining a situation in which u are better, this is a win for you in the end and u get a bit stronger & happier mentally – so imagine that scenario. So when u come across someone attractive think that 1) You are better than them 2) Your life is better than theirs(their partners) because of how u get to apply ur thoughts 3) About how that moment is a better moment for you than for them as u get to reflect on how u r better and feel happy about it, despite any ego boost they may have gotten on their end. But to feel the second ( about how ur life is better than theirs)point, u gotta think about a situation/scenario that you have experienced or that you may experience because of ur potential that is going to be positive for you. Infact confident/happy ones – mostly have such people/things on their mind. If you have not had any experience with a prettier person than the one you see before you – you just have to recover by thinking about how better you are and how you feel better most of the times because of your potential/what u know. I would say that seeing someone prettier on the streets is a distressful sensory input. Anything that makes u wanna act and change the situation is pain/ worry/bad thing and anything that relaxes you is a pleasurable/happier/good thing. Since you get worked up and feel a need to do something – seeing an attractive person( not when you have conquered/made an impact on them) on the street is a distressful thing. So follow the above process and recover eventually when you can, and come out in the positive at the of it. Know that every time u see someone, you are gonna think about it, recover and at the end are gonna feel stronger/positive/happier for having the philosophy mental strength & reasons to feel happy about it – the reason may not be just one super experience/reason that does it – but you are gonna think about so many things that are good for you and so many experience and potential experiences thats gonna add up to you realizing that you have a better life. So the next time – seeing a pretty person – just realize its gonna be a positive thing for you in the end for a longer time, despite being a distressful thing initially.
Actually, i think the following strategy is also good. The minute you see someone, recollect the things/words that make u think how ur life is better without them. I just say existential success, robotics, knowledge,philosophy , intellect – higher impact potential and happiness potential. When i bring these words into my mind, im happier and if theres time left after this recollection, you can try to bring up a demeanor that’s gonna make them notice and have an impact on them.
Its good to have a hot spouse/partner reminding you of how cool and higher up in the societal ranks you are wrt impact,pleasure or happiness potential. But even if you are alone you can think about these things ( how philoshophical, impactful you are and hence of a higher happiness potential you are) and be happy. The problem, is when you see a hot couple on the road and you feel a bit rattled/jealous. For that moment, you need to think about how generating a very intellectual thought is more thrilling than the thrill in flirting experience (in case u cant recollect many great flirting experiences for urself) and hence you have had more exciting moments in life than the guys with hot girlfriends. They dont get to flirt all day around with the same girl with the same excitation. That excitation decreases. So just like a thinker, even they experience high excitation moments only occasionally and not all the time. So as a thinker your life can be very exciting/pleasurable too than the lifes of people with hot girlfriends. When you see a hot couple next time think about this – that your life is probably more exciting than theirs because generating an intellectual thought is more exciting.pleasurable than flirting.
I think a lot of people have to keep reading this particular blog again and again to remember the points and become a stronger personality.So the only thing left to do is to carry the confidence at all times, a confidence thats gonna trump the confidence of others – esp the confidence that dumb but marginally good looking people seem to have mostly esp if they are in pairs. To carry this at all times you gotta realize intelligence makes you better and thus be happy and confident all the time. Intelligence definitely makes for better impact & happiness potential, not sure about pleasure potential, but still this should inspire confidence in you and make you more confident than a person who is good looking hooking up with a partner in a situation. Mostly they will get the better of the situation, but you are gonna reflect upon it and think about how intelligence most definitely has a better happpiness potential and so you are gonna enjoy more upon that reflection. Your life is gonna be better than theirs in actual, so let them have their moment. You can try to put up a confident face at that time, but recover if you dont succeed in rattling them.
In this situation keep focusing on how intelligence is most definitely gonna lead to a happier life and hence that moment was a positive moment because you were able to reflect on that. This is similar to how if you see a noticeable couple and you think I have had a better girl you automatically feel up. Instead of a better girl and pleasurable moment, you have intelligence and better life. I mean thinking about how intelligence is better than romance can come later, but at that moment – try to have the below strategy. Tyrying to put up a confident face – best strategy is to think of the situation where you have made a girl feel nervous – that feeling,that demeanour , that confidence you had in that moment you can try to have that in your face. By thinking about that – you can bring the right demeanour with confidence in your face instead of coming across like a pathetic stare. Later you can think about how ur life is better than theirs.
So things to remember:
- Its okay you feel different when you look at attractive people. You can still very well be better than them
- At the moment try to put up a confident face – by thinking about how you have made someone nervous and , trying to have the same demeanour n confidence at that instant. actually u know what, dont think too much about this. Do what comes to you naturally – whatever demeanour you put up when you think you are better than the other – others who you think are a competition to you. Whatever demeanour you put, they can sense that you are trying to act like you are better and will think that you think you are better.This is better coz of the time constraint. In situation where you have more time, you can bring in various thoughts and act that way. In short situations – put up the demeanour with the attitude that comes easily to you.Actually 0-5 seconds cant do anything. 5 – 15 seconds – can have that snobbish look – that comes a bit naturally. above 15 secs, gotta get ur confident look by then. SNbbish look indicates you are a bit jealous but still you think u can be a rival to their status. But the confident look wil truely rattel them. But you can aim to get than confident look ater only 15 or 20 seconds of time. So dont be disappointed if you dont have enough time to bring that up confidence frequently. If you bring the snobbish look, thats good enough in most scenarios longer than 5 or 6 seconds.And after the 15 – 20 seconds when you get comfortable enough, you have to act like how a person that feels truely superior acts. He/she doesnt act snobbish,they act like they are reacting to being approached. they walk around with the feeling anticipating that everyone else will be approaching them since they are so high and mighty. This is generally a feminine way of acting so to say -They speak/act like they are politely responding to other peoples approaches. So the best way to act is act like everyone else is approaching you with the belief that you are truely superior. Even if the other is in an confrontational demeanor towards you – Dont react back and try to push and be aggressive. Act like the other person is being aggressive out of a jealousy and hence wants to connect and deal with you somehow – even if its not necessarily that way(like mentioned in my next blog on winning a fight). Act like you are dealing with a filthy low class person who is aggressive coz he is jealous of you of a better class. ACtually, there is a better way to act even within the first 5 seconds or the 5 to 15 seconds. Instead of being snobbish – if you just look at them even if as to indicate you like what you see – that natural look in itself says confidence. Only if you try to look away/act snobbish or try something different it looks like you are bothered and trying hard. But if you simply just look – it somehow is just better. Obviously you have reasons and internal confidence, and that clearly shows if you just look and dont try to do anything different at all. With simply starring – there is a passiveness thats associated with calmness and only a reaction – any kind of reaction looks like you are bothered.After 100s of selfie videos i have kinda figured this out.Actually nothing is a normal stare. Even the coolest of the cool people have a different stare/look towards people that they perceive are attractive compared to normal people.
When you see someone that you like – you look for a couple of seconds and what follows is what is important.
What follows is your quick assesment of if you have moves/answers to deal with what you see. If you dont – it bothers you.
If you do you continue to look in an optimistic way. Optimistic look means you are a top person yourself.
In many cases what you look are from a different group/race/lingo etc for which you do not have enough moves/answers or know what it takes to impress them.And these shortcomings makes you question if you are not good enough for them or if they are betetr than you. Take nerd for example – they are future scients and really impactful people – but they see artists/musician and they wonder or dont have answers for what it is that they can do to impress the other group. So they are not well versed with how the other group has fun or enjoys the good things in life. So your immediate thought after you see someone you like for 2 seconds is whether you have what it takes to impress them. This is where some of you may struggle coz either you are not from the same group as they are or cant offer anything fun that is fun n impressive for the other.
So what i would say is another 2-3 seconds goes away in realising that you may not be 100% comfortable in dealing with/impressing what you see and like. So after the 5 seconds – you should think about how really superior you are and get that comfort/confidence in you. When you have the confidence, things will follow and the right look/demeanour to posses will automatically come to you.So the only thing that bothers you in almost all situations is you think dont have what it takes to impress them. So yeah, the next time ur in that situation get over the not being able to impress them part in 5 seconds and be confident that you are superior to them after 5.It would be good if they are indeed somone who you can be coomfortable dealing with, but if not just get over it in 5 seoncds and have the superiority feeling which is also a good feeling. With other groups you can come to this confidence relatively quickly, only with people who are from your similar background – ur language, ur city – you take more time to ponder over whether or not u shall impress them ( that 2 to 5 seconds). Coz they are from ur background and u’d think u’ll be should be able to impress but their demeanour is a lil different and so you get t thinking how should I deal with them.
- Later, think about how ur life is better than theirs because of you intelligence/impact n happiness potential.But if you are high in happiness potential – it means you are superior/ the best rite and people should want to be with you rite? – but that doesnt happen all the time. You can be a proud scientist and a waitress wouldnt understand why you are so happy, and if you cannot talk about stuff that excites them – you cannot impress most people. So having higer happiness potential doesnt mean you can generally be attractive to (most)people.
Now i will give final thoughts on the right demeanor after 5 seconds of coming across an attractive person,which can be remembered.
now the objective of having the right demeanor is to indicate that u genuinely think u r better than them – which is gonna rattle em out/make an impact on them.So keeping in mind this objective lets work out the best demeanour.
In that, the snobbish demeanour works if they are making moves to sell something and you in that case try to put it down by acting snobbish.
That confidently friendly look is only appropriate when you are trying to connect with them
The feminine ‘everybody is trying to connect with me’ demeanour works only when there is confrontation/interaction.
While simply just walking past(manjority of the situation where the encounter is short and so this is what you have to remember) there can be different approches that work depending on ur personality / scenario. One can have that ari schaeffer/Luis gomes aggressive confidence/demeanor or one a better one – anthony hopkins/di caprio superiority confidence orsomething more tailor made according to your personality.
Generally South indians are not that god looking and to any alien walking amongst us, those aliens already feel like they are walking among lesser beings and even if you are quite smart – they already have the upper hand there since you belong to a local group whom they consider themselves to be above. This situation is also applicable for anyone confronting someone who thinks they are more good looking than you. In this situation you have to be aggressively putting up a demeanor/attitude which will rattle them, as if you just put up your normal,relaxed stare to indicate your superiority(like diccaprio/hopkins) – it wont get to them that well as chances are – they will just brush you off as a nice n humble n positive person looking at them and continue to belive they are better. The nice and relaxed stare works in situations where the other is attractive(yet lookable) but dont have a big upper hand over you in terms of judging by looks/background etc. So with your main kinda nemesis on the street – you have to have a mild smirky look – smirky being the aggressive part without any smirk on your lips. The mild smirkyness has to come out in your eyes – so as to indicate that i think im better than you and you are just an eye candy – kinda expression in a very subtle way indicating your confidence over them.
So remember – mild smirky eyes/snobbish attitude when you see a hot person , everything else you can figure out later. Its different for a hot person/group , but as a not so look wise appealing person/group you need to be a bit aggressive in your face to indicate you think you are better.The strategy is different when you are punching above your background/looks. A hot person- a person with background and looks already has his confidence established, however you have to prove wrong what seems apparent( that the other person is better than you). So yeah they can be confident and nice and positive, but you have to be a bit snobbish,aggressive,mean or whatever it takes to indicate you think you are better – and you may even appear as if you are bothered while doing so, whereas they can afford be confident and positive. The more you follow this strategy, it comes naturally and quickly over time and you can be top of most situations when confronting people in any situations fighting, dealing or just glancing as you walk past. So yeah carry that mean streak/attitude around. And if you are in high spirits already like how most youth are and how those hi-flyers are, you will carry that confidence already and that can be helpful too, and it feels like you are the best when you are walking around, but that will go away when your youth goes away and when you realise you are not all that. But if you are not high in spirits you gotta try and get that aggressive demaenour – simply because you are either not that attractive or a hi-flyer. If you are attractive/high flyer belonging to an elite background, you can just be more relaxed naturally. So yeah , you have to be aggressive – but exactly how? – You have to be like i see u r attractive, but im better than you and have a better happiness potential than you. The look you’d have if you were saying those things out loud – thats the look you have to have in your face while walking past or being in the proximity of those people. So you gotta indicate you are better and indicate that you are happy/positive in that situation. But the hard part if becoming positive quickly. Thats the challenge, thats what you have to focus on being. ANything else – like having a snobbish and a mean look on your face falls short of the right thing to do – which is have an attitude with positivity. You dont have to try and act like u r being normal/unbothered – that comes across as you trying to fit in/be on level with them. Have a superiority attitude with positivity. Try to get that positivity and avoid being mean if possible. Being positive indicates higher potential than being mean esp if the other person looks better. And when i say aggressive, you just have to think out the words that you are better and that you have a higher happiness potential. You dont even have to express that overtly in your face. When those words/thoughts run in your mind – your face should automatically have the expression reflecting that so no need to try n put it up. Just think that you are of a higher happiness potential than them and everything else follows naturally in your face/demeanour. Actually, no need to try and put up a face but you should come across as more high in spirits. If you seem happier/ higher in spirits, thats the indication that you think you are better. So no need to put up a face which is reactive to their presense, but put up a face that shows that you are high in spirits. Internalise your thoughts on how you have a better happiness potential and get in a good spirit. So be in the proximity of attrcative people and raise your spirits – thats the best reaction to being at the proximity of attractive people.
————OLD DRAFT —————————————————-
Attraction works like this – the second you see a person, you are creating a picture of him/her in your mind based on a number of factors like looks,body language, personality,things that person does,status,background, etc etc etc and EXTRAPOLATE that it into what they are and how you will be dealing with them. Aggressive,animalistic, outgoing, bold,childish traits in a persons outlook extrapolates into being naughty,playful, fun..do whatever one pleases attitude and ready to be bad and seek pleasure.. and ultimately more sexualy stimulating / fun having and something that excites the others. Traits such as conservativeness,maturity,disciplined,decent,less aggressive ..extrapolates into being not very natural,childish and consequently not aggressive enough to pursue pleasure, something that curbs the excitement and hence less fun. I mean you always reciprocate (from a very subconscious level) what you see in the other person and if you categorise him/her in the first way you also try to be more engaging with them, but if you categorise them the later way you tend to be more conservative with them. Nice, Conservative means restricting oneself from having fun/pleasure and doing what comes to them animalistically. This restriction is also intellectual. You cannot see fun,playful things like flirting/sex in the face-eyes-mind of nice people and consequently they are not so stimulating or sexually appealing. Nice people tend to talk,think about politically correct, nice things most of the time and dont dare to bring dirty thoughts often while interacting with others. So when oe sees a nice n conservative person, there are no thoughts associated with playfulness and fun comes up. For people who cannot derive a confidence from their physical attributes, You need to have a fun,dirty mind(not in a psychotic way but a nice playful way) to be appealing to the opposite sex. ANY DILUTION OF PLAYFULNESS with MATURITY,CONSERVATIVE,NICENESS IS BAD
Another Reason why nice/intelligent people cant close the deal on making their partners fall is that – Nice people are the ones who try to be nice, so they take things seriously and try to do whats right – so they think and judge things, judge themselves. Like i mentioned elsewhere, if you are judging yourself and try to be a nice person, it causes the person who you are with to judge themselves and try to be nice – and so if you try to come across as nice,decent,intelligent and not a freak and not loose, the people with you wont freak out and be loose. Thats why so many girls say ‘They want a guy who doesnt take himself too seriously’ – Actually girls understand this attraction more and they do help us out more and say exactly what they want – its the guys who dont get what they are trying to say.
So many people will go for naturally childish/immature ones rather than mature and serious thinkers, and we tend to associate Childish, neotenous look and features with attraction and tend to VALUE it more than a mature outlook. So its complicated here…we value neoteny(light headedness and less thought) but intelligence(usually associated with maturity) can also be stimulating only if it is more stimulating/engaging in a fun way
The reason there are disproportionately high number of north indian women in south indian movies is because they are highly neotenous(both physically and intellectually).
Whats a turnoff in may south indians is that they think to much about unnecessary things about culture,morality and how to carry oneself and do not focus on feeling genuinely playful and sexy. This applies to even the Hi-Fi crowd of the south who are into heavy metal, discuss high funda things, who do drugs and think they are more westernised and think of themselves as the bohemian crowd of india. Some one who is playful/light headed most of the time come across as more attractive/fun compared to even people who are playful 50% of the time and are serious/mature the rest of the time. Not that the intelligent/mature person doesnt know how to be playful, but…its just when people think about the former, the picture/impression in their mind is – pure playfulness and the latter is half playful and half serious. And for dating n fun, people who come across as more fun are preferred. I meanbe honest – wud you have a sex with vidya balan or with kareena kapoor/priyanka chopra ( although vidya is also fair, sharp features and very intelligent)
For south indians to become attractive like north, we do not have to dumb down though( also dumb peoples actions are childish and that sorta triggers attraction inmany cases).Intellectual neoteny actually means the people are capable of absorbing more information. the problem with south indian thinking is we apply some pre-conceived logic to everything that we come across hence arises the conservativeness in the name of culture.. n stuff all of which makes one quite boring.
Take bengali beauties like raima sen( whose look is similar to the look of a south indian girl like the similarity between bengalis and dravidians) indicating that one can be attractive and sensual and thoughtful too.I guess one has to try to keep laughing in a sexy way and feel sexy and attractive most of the time to become attractive..this is how most bengali girls are. i mean the physical factors also greatly helps but there are many bengali girls who are quite dark.. and still very sexy..like real life girls that you come across in many cities.
Although surya has good eyes..he is still constipated. One has to tryand be like Madhavan..who is constantly giving out the right kinda playful signals. This also explains why rajini is bigger than kamal. An example ofwestern actor who is both intelligent and a playboy is…sam rockwell. have these people as you role models
Its not the Aryan Vs Dravidian or ANI vs ASI difference between Indians but .its just the amount of hormones and thought process that accounts for the same.
Sun is the worst enemy of skin/muscles attraction and strength of the species. The sun damages, stretches, makes skin dry, saggy,takes of all the juices, makes muscles saggy, darker, melanin affecting the synthesis of compunds lik Vit D andother juices, and not firmer. Sun/temperature also breaks down COLLAGEN protein which makes the skin/muscles firmer, juicier and healthy…all these contributing to anti-neoteny.Our primary attraction is toward the FLESH of an organism, if its a saggy and not of a healthy looking form, we cannot be attracted to that.This healthy form cannot be just attained in one generation by exercising. All these factors accumulate into the genetics over a long period of time, and hence the difference in physical traits of people from different continent. And we are unlucky because we have been getting cooked in this hot climate for thousands of years while some others have enjoyed moderate climate. But dont say people in ooty are the same…they have mixed with the other people from TN. Read the links if you need more information on this and put together a bigger picture.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dry-skin/DS00560/DSECTION=causes http://www.mybodybeautiful.co.uk/Beauty/Skin/Skin%20Factors.htm http://realmdeity.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/the-blessing-in-blackness-thoughts-on-melanin/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attraction#Skin_color http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness#Facial_features http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoteny http://www.indiaparenting.com/beauty/beauty006.shtml http://www.ehow.com/how-does_5220937_sun-damage-eyes_.html http://www.womentowomen.com/healthynutrition/vitamind.aspx
north and south Indians are culturally and genetically closest to each other compared to any other ethnic group like say persians or arabs… The differences in intellect are primarily are brought about from the physical differences and only to a small extent based on history..for eg. the guptas or magadhas or mauryas before covered all of what people consider the northern part( i mean the marathis and orissa up to kashmir,indus in the north-west front) ..and so that belt was sorta were culturally similar.
Even in the hottest places of the northern belt, they had a mix of both hot and cold seasons..as in if it was hotter for i\9 onths, at least for 3 months they had cold season. The cold weather makes muscles stronger and firmer and also gives rise to firm/sharp and neotenous features. This mix of climate is very good biologically speaking in contrast to an monotonous climate. And in the south, the climate was mainly hot with the exception of hilly regions and it does not get as cold and chilly as it gets up north. This makes skin,musles dry and saggy or slightly puffy features – however you would describe it. These skin n muscles never get a chance to firm up as there are no cold seasons in the year. And so the physical features of south indians are less neotenous(youthful is the simple translation)..like non-flatter face, bigger eyes, lesser distance between eyes, nose and mouth compared to the rest of the facial area, dark dry and thick skin etc.
One cannot claim that physical neoteny will not have any effect on the intellectual neoteny of people. A society, of group of people where its people have a lot of neotenous features will feel and act more neotenous and thereby making the culture of the group more neotenous, and the neotenous culture(with more singing,dancing, liberal attitude, forth coming and aggressiveness) will also shape and re-inforce neoteny in the physical looks and the faces of its people.
So even a smaller percentage of physical differences can sometime lead to a lot of differences..for example a society where there are 60% physically neotenous people-their culture is mainly going to be neotenous. Whereas a society where 60% of its people have mature physical traits and 40% noetenous traits..here the culture of the society will tend to be more mature. And if the culture is mature, the later generations will be more mature and if the culture is neotenous, the later generations will be more neotenous.
the community of deepika padukone..gowd saraswat brahmins..even though they have nice and fair features, they are quite mature because of the cultural closeness of konkani with kanada and south, and hence deepika comes across as distinctly mature as comapred to someone from maharashtra- closer to karnataka border. The only north indian actress who strikes me as a mature(not naturally neotenous in behaviour) person is madhuri dixit. I cannot think of any south indian actress who is not mature
Some other examples of how the culture you are in affects your look. When i try to look for mudaliar brides in Bharath matrimony, I can notice how some of them born and brought up in the north, with not too strict of parenting look more cuter and look just like north indians. If you browse saurashtran profiles( who supposedly settled in TN some 300 years back), they look very similar to south indians despite having fair skin. And take the examples of Madhavan and swara bhaskar or meghna naidu, they look and act more of north indian than typical south indian faces.
We just have to hope that we get out skills right , work hard, emigrate to places where there is good climate and resources and consume healthy food and eventually we will become healthier, have happy lives an become attractive. So the next generation of parents should not encourage their kids not just to become doctors or engineers(because previously we thought only this will make ones life better) but ask them to be successful in emigrating to places where theres good climate,resources and where the culture is more neotenous..like north india and other parts of the world. The longer you stagnate here in south, others are gonna come in and dominatee us, so we have to expand.
If you are a person that feels bad that southies dont have the look/fun factor, your offsprings are probably gonna feel the same. Thats why its important for us to expand to other cities and try to give a chance to our offsprings to be part of a fun circle.otherwise even they will continue to feel poor/hopeless in aspects of being fun and attractive. Unfortunately not many can just relocate to other places leaving behind their family,friends and job. But if they can get an easy/comfortable job, other things can follow like making new friends and finding other members of community and keep life interesting despite living out of Tamil nadu. So capitalists/business owners all should set up funds and businesses oriented towards helping fellow community members expand to other places..this is just like how the gujarati/marwari communities do business, primarily helping out members of their own community. If you cant get into retail, if you are into I.T. you can very well set up offices and help people relocate and expand.But expanding is very important. I mean before calling me a sectarian, you should look at what the TATA sons is doing for parsi community and how marwaris or certain sections of muslims and other sects do their business.